Friday, December 12, 2008

The Dumbing Down

Challenge Aversive

My Wii has become something of a trophy paper-weight. While others still struggle to find the elusive machines, I was lucky enough to trip over one a year or so ago. The thing is, I barely use it. Outside of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl marathons, the Wii just hasn't done much for me. Casual and Hardcore may be unfortunate labels, barriers keeping a united gaming front seperated, but the there is some truth in the different groups. The Wii, to me, is a hotbed of party game collections and shovelware with only a handful of gems to really get the most out of the console. The success of the Wii is not exactly something you can deny, but the savvy "gamer" can see why. Nintendo's decision to aim squarely at the casual (oh, those labels again) crowd was brilliant - it put them back on top and made the a cultural phenomenon again, but the cost of that success is that many of us, the "hardcore" (oh boy, cursed labels!), feel abandoned. This argument is flawed somewhat, since it was only a year ago that we received great Metroid and Mario titles, and Zelda needs time to bloom again after the awesome Twilight Princess... But there is some truth in what has been spoken. Looking over the Wii library is like staring at rows and rows of gray. Nothing stands out except the few usual suspects. And while games like No More Heroes and the upcoming Madworld break the mold, how often do games like that show up on this platform? The answer is obvious. But even Nintendo is adding to what many see as a problem, with the lackluster WiiMusic (well, lackluster at $50) and, for me, Animal Crossing: City Folk.

I'll admit it, I like me some Animal Crossing. The first game and the DS title came out at the exact right times, allowing me to unwind and relax after long session of FPSs and such. I liked the way the game sort of flowed, how the world seemed alive and had a schedule of sorts. City Folk, however, is something of a kick in the face. To old AC fans, you'll notice right away that this game is familiar - suspiciously so. In fact, this is basically the DS's Wild World with a slight coat of paint. Now, I think part of the charm of the AC games is in the simplicity and the hidden level of challenge - of planning ahead to get the things you want for your home and take part in the events waiting for you. AC did expect a certain level of dedication. Missing any one day might cost you the chance to buy a rare carpet, see KK Slider play, or perhaps miss your last chance to build a proper snowman and get that sweet themed chair. With City Folk, all of that goes out the window. Can't make it on the next day Red visits your town, expensive and shady items in tow? No problem in City Folk - just go to the city and visit his shop. The same goes for every other merchant you know. In the other games, if you missed a holiday or something, you could be evil and adjust the GameCube or DS clocks, but City Folk allows you to change the time from inside the game - allowing people to just go to the dates they need to. To me, this strips away a lot of AC's charm - it's also a sad sign of dumbing down a game that required almost nothing to dumb down. Animal Crossing isn't rocket science, and it's the same thinking that has given many games created lately a fourth difficulty level, one lower than easy. This sort of thinking leads to things like a re-relased Super Mario 3 where you have all the Warp Whistles in your inventory for the very start of the game. Why not!? Maybe toss in a handful of Starmen so that you can get through the pesky airship armada and beat Bowser without the threat of defeat!?

Drawing lines in the sand between Casual and Hardcore is stupid sounding, and it shares space with shameful Fanboys - but the fact remains that games are becoming less and less about challenge and a little committment, and more about seeing the credits roll. While I can appreciate developers wanting me to see their stories or experiences from beginning to end, I like to think that I earn the honor by working a little for it. I'm not saying every game needs to be Ninja Gaiden, but this constant lowering of the bar for things standing in the way of completing a game is ridiculous. I never thought I'd see a game like Animal Crossing treated like this, where it simply doesn't need to be done. Here's looking to the future...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Reviewish | FALLOUT 3

How Many Rads Are In Chicken McNuggets?

Welcome to Reviewish, where I kinda-sorta "review" games I haven't actually completed yet. See, I play games at my own pace - which is a nice way to say I play them very slowly. But after I play what I deem to be enough of any one game to get the proper feel of what it is and has to offer, I'm ready to put my not-entirely informed stamp on it. Enjoy!

I never played the other two proper Fallout games before. In fact, the first image of the franchise that pops in my head is Brotherhood of Steel, the Xbox game with the horrible box art that looked like absolute garbage. I have also never played Oblivion or anything else created by Bethesda Studios. The Fallout games passed me by because I was never big on the PC as a game platform, and as a younger Bannen I simply never heard of the series - Oblivion is fantasy based with its medieval stylings, and I'm really not keen on that genre. But now I'm hip-deep in Fallout 3, and I think that being clueless about the Fallout legacy and of Bethesa's previous efforts have made Fallout 3 easier on me. I've read a lot of things on the interwebs from die-hard Fallout devotees who either see Fallout 3 as deeply flawed but enjoyable or think it's the worst game ever created - ever. I can't say I don't know where the bitter feelings are coming from. As a Twisted Metal fanatic, things went horribly wrong when SingleTrac left the franchise and 989 Studios took over. Of course, the major difference is that 989 Studios made feces pressed into the shape of a disc, while Bethesda's masterwork is one of the best games I've ever played. It might not be the same creature the fans fell in love with, but just maybe its soul has carried over into something new, something that shows itself to be glorious over time...

I know a few people that have already played through the game a couple times, and I simply can't figure out how they did it. My guess is that they either quit their jobs or work from home, allowing them to spend upwards of 15 hours a day wandering what's left of Washington DC. I envy them. I scrape and claw for a scant few hours a night so I can explore the wastes, and after investing almost 40 hours so far, I feel like I have accomplished practically nothing - and I don't mean that in a bad way, oh no. Fallout 3 is one of the most detailed, rewarding worlds ever constructed, and you can easily spend hours at a time wandering this way and that, constantly bumping into new buildings and locations to explore, items to either aid you or sell for a profit, people to chat with, and enemies to battle (or run from). I've only completed a handful of side quests and just a few of the "main" missions - there's just something rewarding and unique about trying to make it through DC and the surrounding area. Finding a new spot on the map is a rush, and raiding it for its various treasures is even better. I spent two hours last night around Bethesda Ruins, in and out of wrecked buildings and taking on those damn Raiders (who, perhaps not entirely by chance, look like actual Oakland Raiders fans). I remember thinking that GTA's San Andreas was a feat, and while it certainly was at the time, the Capital Wasteland is unlike anything I've ever seen before in a game - a full realized slice of land that seemingly never ends. The most awe-inspiring show of how big this game's world is arrives early in the game once you manage to leave your life-long home in Valut 101. The view from the ridge, seeing the Capital Building so far off in the distance, is one of those "Events" in a game that will stay with me for a long time.

Just as deep and winding as the world is the freedom you have in your choices. Some games act like you have choices. GTA IV created the illusion of you having free choice from time to time - kill this person or let them live and so on - but in Fallout 3, the quests allow for you to tackle it primarily however you want and feel you should, and the best thing is that the world reacts to your decisions. The best example I one that happens early in the game and shouldn't be much of a spoiler to anyone who has followed the game even a little. Blow up or save the tiny settlement of Megaton. It's easy enough to break it down into you being bad or good, but let's say you choose to blow it up. Moira Brown, the shop owner who gives you a certain quest doesn't just up and die. Instead, your action alters her path, and she'll show up in a slightly different form later on. That's just small example, but it makes dealing with people and their quests all the more important. This isn't just black and white - Fallout 3 deals morality in many shades of gray. This makes the game feel a little bit more real and complicated since it'll challenge you trying to be entirely good or truly evil. I began the game trying to walk the straight and narrow from beginning to end - but when the realities of the wasteland kick in, when money, ammo, and food get low, I've had to make a few hard choices in hopes of getting my hands on the goods I needed. Things have been stolen, people have been threatened, lies have been told, lives have been lost. While I have done enough good to still have high karma, I still know what I've done, and how the game world largely pinned me in a corner to do it. It's all about survival, after all.

Because of its design, Fallout 3 has been very hard to talk about with friends. It's impossible to play the game the same way between people, so discussing mission and things found has been very hard. Luckily, there is always talk of how we have handled the growth of our Vault Dweller (or just "101" as Three Dog would say). The character creation system is as flexible as the rest of the game, and all the Stats and Skills and Perks allow you to craft a character that you think best suits you. I have a sneaky brainiac that also does well with Small Guns, but gets slaughtered in close combat scenarios. A friend of mine is a brawling brute loves his minigun and getting hands-on with Super Mutants, but he couldn't hack a computer if it only had one button. The Perks, naturally, are the shining part of character creation - mostly because they run from being helpful and logical to being out-right bizarre. From what I can gather, Mysterious Stranger and Bloody Mess seem to be the peoples' favorites, and while I haven't picked them up yet, I'm hoping to before I reach that cursed Level 20 cap. The problem is that ALL the Perks are awesome and useful, and I'm willing to bet that everyone is like me, spending most of their time Leveling Up staring at that list, debating which Perk to select.

So, Fallout 3 is an epic in every sense of the word. For $60, it's insane how much it gives you. If you haven't already, get it now - make it #1 on your Christmas list if you must. And while the die-hards may not accept Fallout 3 as their own, it has made me want to go out and get the original two games and try them out. If that isn't living up to the promise of a series, I don't know what is...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fringeworthy

Science Will Kill Us All

Blame Hadron!

Thanks to last year's Writers Strike, television as I knew it decided to curl up and die, leaving me with an ever-growing list of reality/game shows. Hole In The Wall, for example - if that's not a sign of the End Times, I'm not sure what is. Frankly, I blame the Hadron Collider for this. For one, it's very easy to see that whatever it's going to do once it really gets going, it's going to affect the past, and that's going to result in all this garbage on my TV. Secondly, it's becoming increasingly easier to blame just about anything on the Hadron Collider. For example, it will be magnetic fields from the Collider that causes Google Chrome to become self-aware, leading to our demise at the hands of the machines. See? It's not just easy - it's fun. We need something like the Hadron Collider, and I don't mean for scientific discovery. We need it as something to pin our fears on, to be the focus for a time when America, and likely the world, is feeling the squeeze of terrorism, global economics, and Dane Cook's movie career. Zing. But I do think that's true, that the Collider is a great way to vent frustration and concern - even though it sort of makes some people look like idiots of the Flat Earth variety. I also though it was ironic that on the eve of the Hadron opening up a wormhole, Fox would premiere it's big sci-fi show, Fringe. And it opened with a bang - with an airliner filled with helpless folks who soon become what I like to call "People Soup". Damn. Aside from hoping for a great excuse to break the chains of America's Got Talent, I also follow the works of JJ Abrams closely, because I am an devout LOST fan, and hope for the best here. Abrams' newest baby is about our world reaching that point where science and technology are on a runaway course where progress becomes carnage, though it seems to me that's more about science without ethics. Who knows, though - maybe it's all run by an AI that's gone mad. So far, the show is promising. Storywise, it's got a good hook, and if it can keep the plotlines interesting (like the "Question him" moment at the end of the premiere), we could have a winner. I'm not so sure the early "X-Files Ripoff" statements were entirely fair, since this has less to do with aliens and more to do with rogue science - at least for now. My biggest gripe with Fringe is that the writing seems hit or miss. Sometimes it was rather smart, but sometimes the characters fell into easy clichés and hard-to-believe decisions. Take, for example, the show's lead character, Agent Olivia Dunham. What started for a few moments as a strong female lead was prone to stereotypical female reactions, like when she meets Peter Bishop in Iraq to ask for his help, and resorts to tearing up and giving the "I need to save someone I love" line. My wife, who liked the show up to that moment, let out a cynical laugh and rolled her eyes. I felt the same way. Dunham would later take part in an incredibly questionable experiment with a very crazy Dr. Walter Bishop that involved getting a device shoved in the back of her neck, taking LSD, and being locked in a water tank. All this to save a guy that she seemed somewhat apathetic about at the show's start. And Dr. Bishop walks the fine and dangerous line of becoming a truly obnoxious and unwatchable character. I think his madness largely came from his wily beard, because once he shaved he was much more tolerable - kind of like Samson, but with insanity, not strength...


The success of the show will largely depend on creating episodes that play off what the premiere showed - which walked a fine line between today's horrors of science and far-out sci-fi, like Massive Dynamics' Nina Sharp, who has a very Terminator-esque (and totally bad-ass) robotic arm that goes lightyears beyond what we have available to amputees today. It's sort of like the weirder parts of LOST, but with even a touch more crazy. I'm also already hooked on the whole "Pattern" thing, almost as if it's 2008's answer to the numbers. What is the pattern? What does it all mean? Who the hell would do these horrible things to so many innocent people, and more importantly, why? I want to know more about the whole thing. With any luck, they'll slide in a few sly nods to LOST. Well, a guy can dream, right? In the end, it's largely good stuff, and it's a great excuse to try and put mindless reality programming behind me. If you didn't watch Fringe, I suggest you check in as soon as possible - it looks like this show might start to form quite a mythos, one you're going to need to get into on the ground floor if you want to keep up.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Gaming On My Mind

As is the rule, my Xbox 360 finally fell victim to the dreaded red rings. It was really only a matter of time, as each and every person I know who has a 360 has suffered the same fate, and I'm lucky I went this long without issue. But now, my entertainment center has a sad empty spot where my favorite hunk of white plastic used to be. It makes me sad. Even my latest spot of fun, Bionic Commando: Rearmed, is subject to the aftermath, as it sits trapped inside a now-useless HDD. Damn! In the meantime, I'm doing a few things to try and keep my mind off the demise of my 360. One thing that helps is Warhawk - lots and lots of Warhawk. Unhealthy amounts of Warhawk. And what really doesn't help is that this all happened at a real Catch 22 moment. I'm glad that the 360 tanked now instead of in a month or two, because I don't think I could deal with missing out on Fallout 3 and Gears of War 2 when they hit. But right now is that time of year where nothing is really out - the result of which is you reading way too much about me and Warhawk. I have been toying with the idea of getting something like Mercenaries 2, which everyone seems to agree is a (wait for it) blast - but then I start to remember that I never bothered to finish Super Mario Galaxy. Poor Mario. So, as I do each and every August/September, I comb through my backlogged games and look for something to play that I might have let slide earlier in the year or one that deserves a second look. Uncharted is just such a game. Not only is the game strong enough to support a second playthrough, and remain fun, but thanks to Sony's new Achievements Trophies, I can at least feel productive. Also, I realized that while I originally hated Uncharted's mutant-filled ending, the game's entire plot was miles better than the one in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull... I'm also seriously thinking about playing Resistance again. I hate FPS controls on the PS3 controller, but the weird timeline and atmosphere of Resistance is worth the hassle. I'm also prepping for R2, which looks like one of the more impressive games of the year if it can keep up with the hype.

More Warhawk.  Deal with it.

Looking ahead though, there's a serious clusterfuck a-brewin'. It's been a long time since a holiday season dropped so many great looking games on our heads, and I'm caught wanting them all and regretting not having some sort of device that extends a day to 38 hours - just so that I can have more time to enjoy them all. October is chock full 'o' games, and it seems the majority of them are being released in the span of a week, near Halloween. Dead Space began as another EA project that I was primed and ready to ignore - especially after Army of Two turned out to be such a let-down. But as time has gone on, Dead Space looks like less and less of the Old EA at work, and makes me think that (just maybe) EA is ready to use its place in the gaming universe to create a flurry of really awesome titles and franchises. I've heard nothing but great things about Dead Space from a multitude of sites, and it looks like it could have what it takes to be seriously creepy and take off as a new series with a somewhat unique feel. But how much time can I spend hacking up creates from The Thing when on the same damn day (give or take), the PS3 sees the arrival of LittleBigPlanet? I didn't care much about LBP at first, but all the talk about what you can do with the game, and how you can fashion your own levels and build set-pieces from scratch pulled me right in. Having spent months and months to fashion an epic quest via RPG Maker, the idea of being able to craft entire experiences appeals to me - especially since I can now share them thanks to the magic of the interwebs. Besides, Sackboy is a horribly cute little guy, and it looks like Sony is really pushing to make LBP and it's star the official mascot of the console. Will it work? Who knows - though it seems like the game's profile and the number of people talking about it has grown a lot in the last few months. Then, a week after those two big games, I have to deal with Fallout 3. Now, I'm not an Oblivion fan, but Fallout 3 is right up my alley, with it's retro-carnage look and dark humor. And a game like this isn't going to just need some attention, it's going to require almost all my free time... That's a tall order. It's just chaos. Too much awesome, not enough time.
Spooky!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Monday's Report | An Open Letter To Tom Cruise

Because You Complete Me

Monday's Report

Honestly, things just haven't been the same since the couch, Tom. You know that. And while you're the very best religious salesman/icon to come around since Jesus Marshall Applewhite, the fact remains that your primary focus is still motion pictures, and that means that all the weirdness you caused with trying WAY to hard to convince us that you have the ability to love someone who is a woman, and treating Matt Lauer like a child did some damage. This is all old news. But the thing now is how do we get that star of yours back in the sky? How can we bring black the glory days when Mission Impossible was relevant and the fact that you basically play yourself in everything you do meant nothing to the audiences of the world? I think I've found the answer, and if you were paying attention, Tom, so did you. Tropic Thunder was good stuff, very funny. But what really helped it along was your turn in some rather amusing make-up doing an awkward hip-hop dance and acting like a total asshole - on purpose. The solution is clear; you need to start doing some comedies. Valkyrie is going to be a big dud, and no matter how hard you try, clips of you trying a German accent will sit side-by-side with those of Nick Cage sweating over the arrival of the bees, until the end of time.


But in Tropic Thunder, you showed that you might actually have something resembling a sense of humor. That's impressive - and I say you run with it. Have you ever even done comedy? I guess you did. Did Losin' It ruin your whole perspective on the genre? And you've done the cameo thing before with amusing results - but you need to step up and take the lead on a comedy. Personally, I think this would be a genius move, letting us see your woefully neglected comedic side. But you must be careful. Avoid anything with Sean William Scott first of all. I'd suggest talking to Judd Apatow - the guy is hot, and you'd likely end up working with Paul Rudd and/or Seth Rogen, which would help bring in the lovable Anchorman audience. Do something crazy, something unexpected, something that is so no...you. Why not somehow find a way to play the loser without being smuggly charming. You tried that in War of the Worlds and failed horribly. We all still loved you and you barely looked like the shlub you were billed as. Mess up that hair, try some make-up, something. Play the drug-dealing friend with the heart of gold, or the drunk guy who accidently crashes his best friend's classic car and must (along with a rag-tag group of pals) must win a demolition derby to win the cash to fix it. Hi-larious, I say. Seriously - if you want to make us all forget about how crazy you really are under what had been a very well-kept veil of "normal", I suggest you get that alien overlord agent of yours on the phone and demand a stack of Hollywood's upcoming blockbuster comedies to look over. Do this, and do it right, and you're back on top, baby...

- Bannen

Friday, August 15, 2008

Intervention | Allison & Me

It's Like I'm Walking On Sunshine!

Addiction, for the most part, is a serious thing. And, in general, it's not a topic I choose to mock and kick around in my spare time - but there does come a point when I can't help but feel rather unsympathetic. My wife makes it a point to watch the show Intervention on A&E when new episodes roll, and while I watch it with her, it usually ends in me yelling at the TV, brought to the very edge of sanity as these people spill out the same familiar tales of woe and suffering that resulted in their addiction of choice and turning the lives of their family and friends completely upside down. I'm not, and do not discount events like violence, sexual assualt, and other very traumatic situations and how they can effect someone in a very negative way - but there are a lot of times on the show where it seems that it all comes down to the deadly "Not Enough Hugs" syndrome. During the show's entire run, I think I've felt sorry for about three people. The rest, regardless of their tortured past, are such miserable bastards in the present that it's near impossible to understand how people can remain by their side - not to be cold. The medium of television helps to cloud the harsh realities of a family with some hope, but come on. How about Asa? That dude's a Grade A jackass.


But this week showcased the series' worst pile of shit to date - Allison. What really helped ease me into hating her right away was the early comments she made about not caring if she hurt or killed other while out on a "drug run". As it turns out, Allison drives around a lot while she's high, and has already caused accidents and who knows what damages and suffering to others while driving around town, Mr. Toad style. I'm not really sure what's more idiotic, that stupid look on her face or that she managed to get hooked on something as ridiculous as computer duster. Watching her suck on that can of air in every damn scene she was in got old quickly, and wide-eyed grins while she did it again and again and again gave me a deep and fond longing for Intervention's regular drunk mom chugging mouthwash or the junkie shooting up in a fast food restaurant's bathroom. There's something almost comical about Allison's "drug" of choice, that it somehow just doesn't hold the weight of cocaine or alcohol or the various eating issues the show usually highlights. Computer Duster, really? How impressionable are you? Of all the friends you knew in college, you somehow missed the ones hooked on meth and instead hung out with the dude who had nothing better to do but huff duster? Jesus Christ, it's a good thing no one introduced you to the concept of drinking White Out or the intense high you get from jumping off skyscrapers sans parachute. Somehow, while looking like a demented muppet forged from flesh (you half expect her to ask for a cookie as those eyes rattle around her bobbing head), she's coincidently just aware enough to know how to be both melodramatic and make damn sure that she's to be the center of attention at all times. Speaking of which, she's also a cutter - shocking. The scene in the graveyard is priceless in how cliche it is. As she walked into the cemetary, I told my wife "Here's the overly-dramatic scene where she romanticizes death". Sure enough, she spouts off about the peaceful nature of the cemetary and how she wants to be a part of it and die. You know, when I think about putting my loved ones to rest, the last thing I want or imagine is some moron stumbling around, laying on that loved one's grave, sucking on a can of compressed air, and spouting off Anne Rice-esque dialogue that comes off with all the gothic allure of Hot Topic to a TV camera. During the intervention itself, when she plugs her ears like a seven year old? I was shocked that no one was driven so insane that they punched her square in the face. Kudos on the self control, tormented family members. Naturally, her family is a wreck, and they've all but excepted what a pain in the ass their child/sister/friend has degenerated into. That's always the worst part - seeing these poor people (this family seemed genuinely nice) driven to the edge in the wake of Allison's duster-fueled rampage. I suppose it's slightly worse when she can manage to somehow dress like she's an extra from Garden State. A stylish, ecclectic junkie! To cap off how truly loathsome she is, in the end of the episode she seems much more concerned about her damn cats than any person in her life. Nice. I guess as long as she can "hang out" (that's computer-duster-huffer code for "totally being paid to have sex") with some old dude, that's good enough given her kitties are there when she gets home and she's rewarded with a new pair of completely innocent-yet-provocative panties from the not-creepy Sugar Daddy. And why is it girls with Daddy Issues want to be with older men all the time? I'm no psychologist, but isn't that somehow like wanting to have sex with your dad? Weird.


From the looks of things, Allison is coming along in her battle with the air bottle, and at the end of the show she actually seemed somewhat more...I don't know, less smackable? Naturally, she's still in contact with her older john man-friend, which is in no way a trap-door to fall back into her old habits. No way whatsoever. Good to see the learning curve has improved at least - hopefully she'll also limit her trips to CompUSA. Ugh.

And, for the record, I'm sure she's a perfectly good person now - as most of these Intervention folks are once the rehab takes hold and they focus on staying sober and getting things back on track, but the way they often come off on the show either through editing, their own altered behavior, or both is just damned frustrating... Frankly, she deserves a bit of the ol' kicking around - if only for her to see what a total asshole she was while on the...duster.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Monday's Report | Dreamscape

Pineapple Express Is People!

HEY YOU GUYS!

I rarely remember my dreams, waking up only to know I had dreamt of something, but with pretty much no clue as to what. The worst dreams tend to be the ones that stick. For example, the other night I had the quick flash of a man in a bunny suit standing in my bathroom doorway. It sounds like I'm either full or shit or that it's funny, but neither is true. I did dream it, and it was far from amusing. It was just "real" enough to joly me out of sleep, where I can see from my bed that same doorway. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it. Last night? Last night I had a weird dream where a group of people were trapped in a bizarre building - like a highrise full of metal and glass. None were me, which I thought was odd, and I couldn't place any of them. Fictional people. Then came the hogs. Well, the fictional people called them "hogs". They reminded me of the Pinky demon from DOOM, and they were tearing people apart. Finally, one of the fictional people makes it to the penthouse, and it turns out it's not all shiny and metal and glass - it's really like a large mutant digestive system, and I woke up with the uncomfortable realization that the poor fictional lady was in for an unpleasent stay. Weird, right!? I don't know what to make of it either. I remember when I was a kid, I had this reoccuring dream where there would be a makeshift stage in my backyard, and on the stage was an ice cream cone. However, to get to the ice cream cone, there'd be some sort of trap - an aligator pit, spikes, a dog on a chain, etc. Can't explain that one either, but I still remember them. I think the flavor of the cone changed too, but that might be a detail I've added years after the fact.

Pretty Snazzy

It's going to be one of the better weeks for downloadable games. Today we've finally got Strongbad's Cool Game for Attractive People on WiiWare, which I've been waiting for since it was announced. My once-regular visits to homestarrunner.com has faded in the last year or so, but there's something just cool about a game based on that universe that also has the theme of the old point-and-click adventures like King's Quest and is episodic. I have no idea why, but I find the idea of episodic games to be simply incredible. I'm easily impressed by new gimmicks in distribution, okay? That, and this is the best chance for me to actually turn my Wii on for the first time in months. I feel bad that Mario Galaxy can't get me to play it, but I'm easily distracted. Then Wednesday brings Bionic Commando on the 360, which I will also be downloading. It's been a good long time since I played BC, but it looks like this new take on classic does it's best to hold true while also bringing new visuals and stuff to the mix - I can appreciate that. Everyone seems to be talking about Braid, and whether or not it's worth $15, but that's crazy - as long as it's as good as everyone seems to think it is, who cares if it's $15? That's pretty reasonable if you're getting a game that's entertaining and isn't just another piece of XBLA shovelware. Penny Arcade's game ran a high price too, but I felt it was worth the cost and not just entertaining, but funny - an attributes most games just can't pull off correctly. I didn't download Braid, and the truth is I probably won't just because I'm not psyched now, so I won't be later. Nevertheless, the bitching is unfounded... So cut it out.

It's August and it's 2008, that can only mean it's time for the Olympics. Perhaps it makes me a bad American, but I've never been a fan of the Olympics. Since I was a kid, the only thing that the Olympics meant to me was that NBC was going to be screwed up for weeks - and the feeling still stands. Worse yet, it seems every other station has decidedthat instead of some putting together some sweet counter-programming for folks like me, they'd just give up and program relentless garbage so that my only alternative is to watch DVDs or try out my skill at reading tea leaves (by the way, Kevin Francis, do not get on that plane!). The Olympic games confuse me, and while I can entertained by Men's Basketball, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take Table Tennis seriously. Does it take skill? Sure - but that doesn't make it look any less like grown men are playing a rather ridiculous game or making me think of Forrest Gump, something I'm not fond of recalling, but since he was involved in so much our collective history, it's hard not to at least address him and his accomplishments. Of course, all these crazy events get time, and yet Baseball has been removed. Go figure. I have to feel bad for the guys playing beach Volleyball at 2am EST, knowing that no one will be able to appreciate their long, flowing locks and spray tan. It's okay, brah!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Quantum of Solace: I Don't Get It Either

While it goes without saying that Ghostbusters is my favorite film of all time, I hold a special place in my heart for James Bond. To put it plainly, I'm rather obsessed, perhaps fanatical. There are times when I curse myself for not being British, if only so I can be culturally closer to my favorite fiction spy in our shared notion of Queen and Country, if nothing else. Indeed, I take my Bond seriously. And I'm always more than happy to try and bring the younger generations along for the ride. So far, I've been somewhat successful. I have one cousin who is 16, and he has been converted to a 007 fan. It's awesome to be able to discuss all the ins and outs of the series, our favorite movies, our favorite Bonds, etc. But the real problem is with my other cousin. He's 15, and recently he spoke up about the upcoming Quantum of Solace, saying that he's not exactly a fan of Daniel Craig, and then offering up his own casting choice of who should next wear the Tuxedo. Buckle up, because this will blow your mind...

Jack Nicholson

I wait a minute while you try to let that soak in. It took every fiber in my being to not lunge over the counter and choke him out - if only for his own sake, to free him from what is obviously a very confused life. For all of his celebrity and general goodwill, Jack plays Jack in pretty much every role he's ever been in, and to imagine him in his 2008 near corpse-like form, smirking and snarling, asking for a shaken martini is to imagine the most terrifying scene on Earth. Can you imagine Jack even attempting a British accent? The horror.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Anyways, in other Bond-related news, I'm sure you've heard that Jack White and Alicia Keys have been tapped to record the theme for Quantum of Solace. I'm hoping it's at least a little bit rockin' - I hate the slower themes. But I did stumble across this offering for the theme over at CHUD.com, and thought it was damn funny. I'll admit it - the name of the movie sucks. I know Bond movies have a history of wacky names, but at least they were understandable and wouldn't make the audience go "What the hell does that mean?". Therefore, any riffing on the title is deserved - and is probably required, just so that the movie's name spreads.


For me, I'll see the movie no matter what - and I'm curious that this is the first 007 flick to be a direct sequel, picking up just hours after Casino Royale ends. It also looks like these movies are building up something resembling SPECTRE, some worldwide criminal organization. I'm interested to see where that angle goes. So, enjoy the proposed theme and Bond fans unite!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Monday's Report | Cinema Edition

As We Speak, Aaron Rogers Is Building A Favre Voodoo Doll...

How'd It Get Burned!?!

Why don't more movies feature Yetis? Yeti? I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure of the plural for a gathering of Yetis - I vote that from here on out we call them a Murder, like crows. Sounds pretty bad ass, right? Anyway, the whole reason I even bring up the beloved fuzzy critters is because I saw The Mummy: Curse of the Jet Li this weekend, and the movie doesn't really hit it's stride until three completely awesome yetis show up to kick the crap out of rogue Chinese troops. I know what you're thinking; "Bannen, why did you bother to see the third Mummy movie?" and, while that's none of your business, I'll tell you that I find the Mummy movies to be a guilty pleasure. While they should by shunned and loathed, I actually find them to be entertaining in a Sunday Afternoon Creature Feature sort of way - that and I just can't get enough of Brendan Fraiser's ability to make wacky faces. In reality, this Mummy is more of the same. It's got the over-the-top action sequences, a lot of ham-handed dialogue that serves only to form some loose framework for future plot points to hang awkwardly on, cheap puns and jokey-jokes, but this one has the secret weapon of casting Jet Li as himself. Who knew he was so evil? And let me take a minute here to position something about what does and does not constitute as a "Mummy". Last I checked, being cursed to be a statue (living or otherwise) is not being a mummy - that makes you a statue man, perhaps a golem if you'd like to sound cooler. But a Mummy you are not. And worse yet, you're a fragile statue man, prone to shattering at the slightest provocation. At least the bald baddie from the last two Mummy flicks could not only put up a fight, but remain structurally intact for much of the combat. Through a majority of the movie, especially the ending scene, everyone is screaming stuff like "I hate mummies!" and "die mummies!" and "so what if I had unprotected sex with a mummy!" - and yet, there's really not a single honest-to-gosh mummy to be found. However, Statue Man: Curse of Jet Li probably wouldn't sound as good to an potential theater-goer - nor would it fit comfortably in the inevitable "Mummy" Blu-Ray collection. However, it would sit quite comfortably beside Looney Tunes: Back in Action as part of the "Brendan Fraiser Makes Funny Faces" Blu-Ray collection (which, yes, includes Encino Man). The other weird part of the movie is that Fraiser's son from Mummy Returns is now in his mid to late 20's, and Fraiser still looks to be in his late 30's, maybe early 40's... It's just odd. If you'd like to see this so-called Mummy movie, it helps to at least be able to admit you truly did enjoy the other ones (and face it, you totally did) and just take in some loose entertainment. Cap off the exciting adventure with Applebees and you've got a great afternoon...

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Death Race 2000 is one of those really awesome cult movies that deserves to be loved as it is, but since Hollywood has officially given up on developing new content, it was really only a matter of time before they found this classic and decided to retool it for a new generation of kids who can't appreciate the original. I expect to hear about the "Back to the Future" remake with Shia LaBeouf any day now. The precursor for Twisted Metal and other car combat games, Death Race 2000 had a bunch of psychopaths strapped into modified cars, racing for their lives. Of course, the brilliant part was that the race was through civilian territory, and you scored points for mowing down those civilians - kudos if it's a child or elderly folk. In a cult classic way, it's golden. But, naturally, since everyone nowadays has absolutely no balls whatsoever, the new version, called simply "Death Race" sans "2000" (I would have kept the 2000 just for the hell of it. Watch people try to figure that out.), takes place entirely on an enclosed track, keeping children and old folk safely out of harm's way... LAME. I'm going to assume that some terminally unfun studio suit insisted on this, because he feared idiotic high school kids, likely high on meth and/or crack, would attempt a Death Race in their home town, killing untold dozens. In reality, the concept has been rendered limp before it hits the screen - it's only salvation at this pre-release point being Jason Statham, the action hero of under-appreciated (and often awful) action films. I like Jason Statham, and I still think the first Transporter is full of some of the best fight scenes ever - if you fast forward through all the really horrible dialogue between him and the Asian chick. Ugh. Anyway, cast as the mysterious Frankenstein, he might be the movie's saving grace, making it a fun watch. My only concern is that being inside a car will limit his ass-kickery. It's hard to kick people in the face with bike pedals on your feet when you're trapped inside a Mustang. Luckily, my wife loves Jason Statham - I'm sure purely for his acting prowess - so we'll be seeing Death Race when it's released in the next few weeks. I'll compare it to the fantastic original and see how much the re-imagining has killed the concept. I'm betting the answer will be "Killed it a lot".

Brendan Fraiser, Hollywood A-Lister

Anyone else not that psyched about that new Star Wars animated movie coming out? They're advertising the hell out of it, but the general buzz seems minimal at best, at least from inside the 'Drome. I wonder if people have finally grown a little tired of Star Wars? For me, it has taken some time to develop a defense mechanism that makes me believe Episodes 1 thru 3 don't actually exist - except in my nightmares, where the stiff acting and clumsy conversation strike me with unending terror. And while I sure did enjoy the Geddy Tartakovsky animated take on the Clone Wars, this movie is (sadly) Tartakovsky free, and the fact that none of the actors are here to reprise their voices (not even Frank Oz!?) makes me think this is just the latest move in the disturbing Great Lucas Rape - and trust me, Lucas has taken a great deal of joy from awkwardly dry-humping the corpse of Star Wars, and the way Kingdom of the Crystal Skull turned out, Indy's body might get rocked a lot more too. Poor Indy - you realize how much Kingdom failed when Statue Man is, in some ways, a superior adventure romp, especially in the father-and-son interaction department. Awkward.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Ratchet's Return

Pirates and Robots Equal Fun

Ratchet gets in a scrape

Without a doubt, the Ratchet & Clank series is one of my absolute favorites, and while the series has had a couple of set-backs (like Size Matters and Deadlocked), it has returned to form with the PS3's Tools of Destruction. It might be true that the R&C formula has largely remained unchanged over the years, but I think in terms of this series, that's not exactly a bad thing. The game has long excelled at creating fantastic platforming action with some seriously awesome shooting. If you don't like Ratchet & Clank, there is a good chance you're somehow wrong. Not sure what you're wrong at, but you're certainly not right in social terms. And the folks at Insomniac are a devoted bunch of gamers - and always busy. Yet, despite all the energy they're pouring into the increasingly must-have Resistance 2, they've been kind enough to craft a small epilogue to the cliffhanger that Tools of Destruction ended on. Introducing, Quest for Booty.

Robot pirates are awesome.  Fact.

Quest for Booty is a downloadable bit of content from Insomniac that has Ratchet exploring space in search of his missing robot buddy, and dealing with lots and lots of robot pirates. Now, while Tachyon was a perfectly acceptable villain for ToD, he's not enough of a colorful character to stop the game's pirate villain from over-shadowing him. As such, it's nice to see that aspect of the game featured here. And the best part? It's being released on August 21st for $15.00 - that's not bad, not bad at all. Especially when you consider the fact that it has all the production value of Insomniac's previous PS3 efforts. Sure, it's a bite-size bit of gameplay, roughly three to four hours worth, but it's got a lot of platforming and apparently new type of stuff like manipulating light and dark and some new tether attachment for the wrench. As you can imagine, I will be snapping this up as soon as possible on it's release day. I have to say, this and Warhawk have really changed my mind about downloadable games that can be every bit as good as the stuff you buy at the store. Neat!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Activion vs. The Ghostbusters: The Breakdown

This Fall, They Won't Answer The Call

Am I being a baby?  Perhaps.

A line has clearly been drawn in the sand, a message sent. It all started in November, when news broke that a Ghostbusters game was being developed - and it wasn't that bizarre quasi-Gears of War Ghostbusters either. It was the honest to god Ghostbusters we all know and love, penned by Dan Arkroyd and Harold Ramis themselves. It's voiced by the entire crew. Even everyone's favorite dickless wonder, Walter Peck (you know, the brilliant William Atherton?), is back on board. Since the wordon the game came out, I've been on cloud nine, giddily awaiting the arrival of the game that would surely change my life. Finally, I'd be a Ghostbuster... As screenshots and videos made their way to the public, it became clear that this was going to be the real deal - a detailed and accurate take on the franchise that you don't often see in a movie-based game. And once playable demos got in the hands of the gaming press at E3 and Comic Con, all that's been reported on it is excellent word of mouth. Then, the unthinkable.

Activison Blizzard, not happy with being more valuable than EA, decided that they'd also like to own their rival's title for "biggest bunch of douchebags". Out came their press release that stated how they've combed through all the various projects now under their watch and were proud to show their support for such exciting titles as Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon. Mysteriously missing? Ghostbusters. As fans like myself quickly went bezerk with rage and confusion, the word came down - the game wasn't cancelled, but it was no longer being published by Activision. Consider yourself the biggest douchebags, Activision - wear the title with pride. The decision itself makes little sense to me. I think everyone can agree that Ghostbusters, as a game IP - with the original cast in tow and high production values - means a game that will sell like hotcakes. And the market for it is not all just GB fanatics either, I think the IP has enough strength to sell amongst the younger crowd who may be slightly unfamiliar with the classic movie. But now, the whole thing is turned on its ear, and I'm still sort of spinning from the hit. Vivendi was kind enough to send a PR guy out to explain the the game hadn't been given the undesirable fate of "cancelled", but without a publisher now, things just got a lot more confusing and complex for the title. Now Sony (owners of Columbia Pictures, and therefore Ghostbusters) has come out to say that this event is "good" and allows them to position the game along with the movie's 25th anniversary - which happens to be the summer of 2009. FUCK. I know I should be thinking a little more positively - at least it's not cancelled, right? But that's not the point. The point is, I've invested myself heavily in this game - it has meshed both my love of the movie and my tendency for obsession to create a hybrid creature of unspeakable horror. Short of covering myself in bubbles and proclaiming the be the "Destructor", the game has driven me to epic levels of Ghostbusters love. Now I'm a victim of the dreaded "wait".

It's true, Activision has no dick.

Here's something that may shock you: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie of all time, ever. It means a lot to me - it's one of the first movies I remember watching, which is odd since I was six and probably should have fond memories of E.T. or some shit... While other kids were playing cops and robbers, me and my troop were busting ghosts in the mean streets of Union Lake, MI - we had the whole routine down. Halloween? Five years in a row of me with a crappy proton pack only a child could craft. So yeah, it's a movie I've grown up with and never stopped loving. And the game was like some sort of miracle gift, a reunion not only with the original cast, but also letting me run alongside them (and split up, so we can do more damage that way...). sigh But now, now I'm getting nasty GTA IV flashbacks, when it's October '07 release was pushed back to April of '08. Crushing, it was. The difference this time is that it hurts even more. Yeah, Ghostbusters probably won't equal something like Gears of War 2, Resistance 2, or the awe-inspiring cuteness of LittleBigPlanet, but the to me Ghostbusters was the Fall release this year - outshining even Fallout 3.

So the deal is this - it's war, Activision. You screwed with my mind, and I'm not pleased. I'm willing to do the unthinkable in order to do my part to give you a middle finger forged from dollar bills. From here on out, I'm never buying another Activion / Blizzard title again. That's right - no more Call of Duties or any of the other shit you've got coming out, which is so tough what with your exciting portfolio featuring Crash Bandishit and Spyro the Fucktard. And Guitar Hero World Tour? Yeah - I'm doing my dealing with EA now, and it's Rock Band 2 on my agenda, bastards. Oh yes, it's war now, and I'm dead serious about it. Ask Joel Schumacher. After he raped Batman, I swore off him and have yet to see one of his movies since. Batnipples require such punishment, and so does this bafflingly stupid choice to drop a game that holds so much promise, throwing the whole thing into chaos. The only positive I can even imagine coming out of this is almost another year of polish that can go into the game - and maybe a character editor for "the Rookie" so that I can make him look like me. BASTARDS! I'm going to go into a corner now, go fetal, and hum the Ghostbusters theme...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday's Report | The Beginning

Here There Be Rants

Busey, universal symbol of insanity.

Sadly, it doesn't seem like the Bannendrome has caught on like it would. I must admit, I'm not much in the way of marketing, so I fear this will only continue. I'm basically the digital form of a homeless guy mumbling to himself. Still, I figure this is a pretty good place to do as I like, though I think I'll always have the ol' soft spot for my original home over at 1up.com. Visit it if you like, invisible friend. I have to say, I have become more and more curious over this whole Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe game that Midway's got coming down the pipe. At first (and, still now) the idea sounds simply ridiuclous. I mean, at least Marvel vs. Capcom was top to bottom crazy - a ton of random characters thrown together for laughs. But now Scorpion is beating the hell out of Superman, which is odd to see. It's like a Superman Returns flashback. And, by the way, that's what ruined the movie (if you don't count the reveal of Super Brat), for the last half of the movie, Superman is getting the crap kicked out of him. While Superman needs some sort of threat in the cinematic realm, the truth of the matter is that no one wants the guy to be a puss. And seeing Scorpion latch that spear into Superman's cheast and yank him into the all-too-familiar uppercut from Hell was depressing. Surely, America is doomed. Just as confounding is Batman's grapple with Sub Zero. Whatever. The point is, early word from the journalist crowd is that the game plays surprisingly well, bringing back the "feel" of MKII, which is great since it's one of the few fighting games I could ever actually play and wi with some regularity. Add to that the new announcement that The Joker is a character and I'm sold. We'll see what happens when November rolls around and 10 different games are pulling at my free time, soul, and wallet though. It could be that no DC hero has the strength required to pull $60 from me. I just hope this whole Fatality for villains rule does actually apply, because how cool would it be to see Scorpion fry Superman? Cool.

Speaking of DC heroes and The Joker, I'm wondering how long until Heath Ledger's performance forever influences future apperances of the character in the comics, cartoons, and so on. I can only imagine the answer is "not long". I read an interview about DC Universe Online and Rob Lee was mentioning how he's already tweaking the Joker's appearance to be more inline with his Dark Knight counterpart. Will the Mortal Kombat version follow suit? And it's not that I mind - Ledger's Joker is an incredible performance. Will he get an Oscar nomination? No. For all the buzz, it's from us - the comic book fans, internet fiends, and the cinematic laymen that the Oscar folks clearly ignore (how else do you explain all the love given to period pieces?). In reality, the people who programmed Oscar's primary directives are far too stuffy and bitter to applaud the works of The Dark Knight. it's funny though. Imagine, for just a moment, TDK if it were just a crime drama without the Batman mythos. Imagine Ledger's same performance, sans facepaint. You just know he'd get the nod then - he makes Anton Chigurh look like he was part of Amateur Hour at the villain club. Ledger's Joker makes you uneasy, makes you squirm. But add that makeup and "The Joker" moniker and the rules change somehow - now he's brushed off as a comic villain, which is a shame considering Ledger left the world this as the proof that the dude could act. Nevertheless, awards or not, the movie is making stupid money, earning in just a week what Ironman and Indiana Jones took three months to make. Who would have thought? And back to Ledger again - would the movie be such a phenomenon if he hadn't died? It's an impossible question, I know. Still, makes me wonder. I've heard people have seen the movie numerous times, anywhere from three or more. I'd like to see it again (therefore bringing my number to two), and may do so tomorrow - but then again, I may rather simply enjoy a day off to do other things. I have a tree that needs some limbs trimmed.

That's my girl...

I just finished up MGS1. It was odd playing a PS1 game - I mention the whole adventure over at World 1 dash 1, a site I highly recommend you visit if video games are your thing. So, as my OCD demands, I have now begun playing through MGS2. It's odd, because while I want to get through it, it's more so I can play MGS3 and less about this adventure. I still blame Raiden, and while MGS4 helped smooth things over a bit, and somehow managed to make everyone's favorite transgendered hero look incredibly cool, MGS2 still holds the stigma of being the game that killed the series for me. But I have to play it, I just do. I bought the damn box set, so I might as well play them all, and if I take on MGS3 now that means I'll really never get around to MGS2. It's all about knowing one's self - and I put things off. I'm currently on the Tanker section of the game (also known as "The best part"), and while I dread seeing Raiden, I'll take comfort in having a reunion of sorts with Fortune. Ah Fortune, my favorite Metal Gear Solid person. Don't know why, but she is - so back off.

This concludes my first official Monday's Report. Expect more in the future...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Electronic Arts and the Icky Monsters

In today's gaming climate, hating on Electronic Arts is sort of like a Borat impression about a year or so ago - everyone was doing it, regardless of ability to do so. It's cool to hate EA. Aside from the relentless spend-monkeys who slave over each years' copy of $60 NFL Roster Update (also known as the Madden series), you're simply not permitted to approve of EA's products. And crappy games aside, the truth of the matter is the company put it upon themselves. There are only so many subpar games they can release based on monopolized sports leagues and movie licenses before the gaming community wakes up and lashes back in its trademark over-reactive manner. Buying beloved developers certainly doesn't help, and that goes double when other purchases in the past have lead to the death and mismemberment of independent developers. In the end, all that was left was decidedly "EA" - and "EA" is code-speak for "Just good enough to get some return on the investment". But in the last couple years, EA has tried very hard to improve the image, to get us all to re-embrace them and not give them the ol' stink eye. The developement of new, original IPs is a great place to start, as is the idea that developing groups are given a broader sense of freedom - able to craft the games they invision and not train-wreck bullshit ala Goldeneye: Rogue Agent, a game that I use as my own personal symbol of everything EA means to me. I think if you give it a shot, Rogue Agent might fit yours as well...

Monsters!

...sigh. See, I try to put things on the good foot and end up still spewing bile. It's not my fault, I've been trained to hate. What my topic here really is is that I think EA might actually be on the up and up on all of this. Sure, as of late, the sports division has had some issues (competition helps iron out stuff like this), but at least some of the newer stuff coming down the pipe looks promising. I did, however, get bitten once by the "new EA" already. Army of Two looked good, and the concept sounded foolproof - but it's actually a very linear and rather boring affair, and it's got a hell of a lot of holes. I mean, they couldn't even get the game's big ending right - adding it as DLC months after the game had been released (and returned to my local GameStop). It looked good, but was a flawed experience. Now though, I'm becoming more and more curious of Dead Space. The game originally looked kind of dull, but now that I see more video and hear some rather positive word of mouth from the recent E3 hands-on demo, I'm getting kind of psyched to experience it. It looks like it could be the perfect blend of sci-fi and horror, which a nice dab of both Event Horizon and The Thing - and who doesn't love The Thing? I like the complete lack of a HUD, relying mostly on holographic displays given off by guns and your inventory. It's a nice touch. And the atmoshpere looks to be spot on, full of spooky space stuff. But even though the game looks so promising, I can't help but wonder how the ball will be dropped - so to speak. Will it be glitchy? Hard to control? To difficult? To short? Too easy? Boring? I should probably stop being such a negative dick, but the good news as that making Dead Space into a hit that people agree is great will go a long way towards proving EA is turning it around. Who knows, they actually might do it...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

E3 Presentation Review

As of about an hour ago, Sony wrapped up their E3'08 presentation, and that means that now each of the big three in the world of games have had their say - so now it's my turn. In a lot of ways, I felt that this year felt understated, full of news we've heard elsewhere, and a whole lot of catering to that darned "casual" base. In terms of big-name titles, again, we've heard it all before this week, and it was kind of sad that none of the companies decided to use this chance to announce something crazy - something preferably "hardcore" that would send people into a frenzy. There is one exception, but I'll get to that in a minute. Let me just go ahead and breakdown how I felt about each company's presentation, and what their various announcements mean to a gamer such as myself, who thinks of himself more along the lines of hardcore, if not at least devoted to the gaming culture...

NINTENDO: Of the three, the biggest disappointment had to be the Big N. While there was plenty to be proud of, with the Wii and the DS both being licensed machines to print money, the company did little to make people think it hadn't forgotten about the fan base that helped to pull them from the wreckage of the GameCube. Of all their various announcements, the only one I'd even have a big of interest in is Animal Crossing: City Folk, which will feature all the things we'd expect from a game that should create a community feel - this goes hand in hand with the new Wii Speak, which finally allows for chat, only in a group environment, making a mic open to a whole room. It's an odd take on the whole chatting concept, though from Nintendo I expect it. And while I'll be sure to play Animal Crossing, I was disappointed that Nintendo didn't mention a single game that hinged on any of the Holy Trinity - Mario, Legend of Zelda, and Metroid. Not only that, but I know a lot of folks (me included) were rather pissed and disappointed that no mention of a Kid Icarus game was made. Also, no new IPs, at least not any that aren't part of the current Nintendo philosophy. I mean, it's nice that Nintendo is doing well again, but it would seem that the way we've seen them go towards the casual market is here to stay, with the occasional scraps thrown to those who expect the glory days of Nintendo. I mean, Animal Crossing is cool and all, but it's not something like a new adventure for Link or the resurrection of a long-forgotten classic. All in all, Nintendo's outlook is oddly familiar, and doesn't look to change anytime soon.
BANNEN'S GRADE: C-

MICROSOFT: Now don't go hatin', fanboys, but of the presentations, Microsoft's was probably the best - but only by default. Microsoft opened E3, and they took that oppertunity and ran with it. Honestly, most of the show wasn't exactly a surprise. We all knew Gears of War II was going to kick ass, and sure enough, the demo of it certainly impressed. Actually, let me take this time to say that I think one of the big things I noticed was that Microsoft showed a lot of in-game demos and videos of their big games, both first party and third. This is a stark change of pace from Sony, which didn't show a whole lot of anything. If nothing else, Microsoft has some serious confidence in their library, and aside from all of the stuff I don't care much about - like the new Avatar thing and the Xbox Live redesign - the games look great, and that means a lot once the Fall rolls around and "Must Haves" start raining down like crazy. The pocket book is gonna hurt this year - and that's between all the consoles, not just the 360. Of course, Microsoft also ruled E3'08 because it had the ace in the hole, the one bombshell announcement. Final Fantasy XIII. Now that is an announcement. Personally, this doesn't mean much to me because I gave up on FF a long time ago, but I know it means a lot to many, many people. This is huge. Now, when it comes to big third party franchises, Sony's pool of exclusives big names is shriking. Along with GTA and Resident Evil, Final Fantasy is now a big game you can get on the 360 the same days it's available on the PS3. That's pretty important, and it stands as the one big surprise of the whole event. Well played, Microsoft.
BANNEN'S GRADE: A-

SONY: Sony's presentation was a confusing one. Of all the systems, I truly believe it has the chance to bring the most cool exclusives come this holiday, and yet the only games it chose to really focus on was Resistance 2 and LittleBigPlanet. I understand highlighting them, but I was stunned that more time wasn't spent on Killzone 2 which, aside from a ver brief glimpse during a montage, didn't make an apperance to speak of at all. I was also kind of pissed to not see more on inFamous, which could be the breakout sort of surprise Crackdown was for the 360. In general, Sony's presentation was just more looks at what we already knew about, and fairly underwhelming in that respect. Home, something I've slowly given up on over the last year and a half, was talked about ("your patience will pay off, I swear!"), and a new video was shown of it open world design, but no word was given on its progress or when we could expect the wider open beta to arrive for the masses - not even so much as "this Fall!" was said about it, and that makes me think this is something that will either come out in 2009 or not at all. It's funny, because Microsoft's new Xbox Live upgrades mimic much of the social networking Sony wants Home to do, and the new Live will be up and running in the Fall. Sony got totally faced on this one. For me, I was waiting for word on God of War III, and hoping it would be Sony's bombshell, maybe releasing this holiday to pull some folks away from their Gears fix who might otherwise not gel to Resistance 2's business. Sadly, all Sony had for Kratos was a very short teaser that showed zero of the game. Again, no date was mentioned. When all is said and done, Sony had the door left wide open for dropping some sort of epic bomb, and simply decided not to. It was a tame affair, and described nothing new. At least the big speech about Sony's profits was enjoyable, highlighted with a funny clip from LittleBigPlanet...
BANNEN'S GRADE: B

STANDOUT GAME: Sure, Gears of War II looks awesome, and my heart pines for Ghostbusters, the game that really stood out (primarily from Microsoft's presentation - another title PS3 breezed past) was Fallout 3. Sure, I already reserved my copy of the game, but that was simply because the pics I had seen looked neat-o. Now that I've seen the game in motion, I can hardly wait to get my hands on it. The "Bloody Mess" perk is this year's "Enrage Plasmid"!

That's it for my take on E3'08 and the big three. Hopefully, more surprises will appear at the next few events. Fingers crossed, maybe at PAX!?

Friday, July 11, 2008

Waiting Is A Payne

"Payne" Puns Persist!
Before Bullet Time became the late 90's version of the exploding barrel, Max Payne took the concept and ran with it. Looking back on it, I'm kind of sad that the saga of the tormented cop can be so easily forgotten - either on purpose or simply managing to fall through the cracks. It's possibly Rockstar's most underused and underappreciated title. Aside from some of the best shootouts and action set-pieces games would see, and aside from that trademark Bullet Time, Max Payne oozed character and mood - two attributes that are only now really starting to find they're not exclusive to the RPG genre. The dark noir themes and over-stated dialogue helped shape the series into something unique and interesting. And while the first game help set the foundation, I still think that Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne not only improved upon the first, but excelled in delivering a story filled with emotion, twists, and an ending that actually lived up to what you'd hope for. No punches pulled is a nice way to put it. Every now and again, the theme music creeps into my head, and it's then that I wish I'd hear more rumors about a third chapter for Max.

Nevertheless, I was a little concerned to learn a few months ago that Max Payne was going to be the next game license to jump from the consoles to the big screen. It would be easy to see how this could be a disaster - in the wrong hands, and someone who never played the games, a Max Payne movie could turn out as little more than a watered down, generic, vigilante-cop action-fest without a soul. One of those movies you see on TBS in a couple years and wonder if it had ever been released in the theaters, or simply go "Hmm, never heard of this." But then came word that Mark Wahlberg in the role, and my mood changed considerably. I like Wahlberg, and his role in The Condemned sealed it for me - Happening aside. If anyone can bring some sort of life and likeability to a tormented and vengeful man on the edge, it's Mark Wahlberg. Still, things could end up being just a slightly better brainless shootathon. But now, a trailer for the Max Payne movie is making the rounds, and it has not only made me feel better about the whole ordeal, but it makes me just giddy waiting for it to arrive in a theater near me. Check it out:


To me, from the way the movie looks, to how it's being shot, to the brooding guitar rift running through it - it actually feels like Max Payne. From what I can tell, the movie also makes plenty of nods to the original game - snow blowing around, the bleached colors, and the noticable sign for the Ragna Rock nightclub (one of the best scenes in the original game). Sure, there appear to be angels flying around, but don't forget that the first game centers around tailor-made drugs circulating through New York's underworld, causing all sort of chaos - not to mention disturbing hallucinations, which these likely are. I can't wait to see if Max goes into those nightmare scenarios like in the games, where things get real weird, and real twisted. All in all, this looks like it should, and looks like the most faithful version of any game to screen move I've seen. Sure, it's only a trailer, but I have faith.

Pardon Our Dust: Under Construction

A Drome Of My Own
I've spent a good three years or more blogging my little heart out over at 1UP.com, but over the last few months, things just haven't been running all that smoothly. I've been a decent sport about the various ups and downs involving all the bugs, mistakes, and missteps done to the site's blogger community, but now that they've made blogging even more difficult with some new window thingymado, I've decided enough is simply enough. Therefore, I've packed up some boxes, hired a shady moving company, and am going to follow in the footsteps of my fellow blogger and pal, Matt (go check out his site too - it's good stuff), and spread my wings, opening up a blog site all my own. It's easy to set up blogs here, and I don't have to worry about the damn thing suddenly triple-spacing all of my posts - so that's a good thing. I plan on shifting most of my time over to the Drome here, and I'll primarily focus on topics like TV, movies, video games - you know, all the stuff of great cultural significance. In terms of tone, I try to stay light-hearted, though I'm prone to rage at times, and I love nothing more than sarcasm. But I'll do my best to keep things on the ol' up-and-up.

Hopefully, I'll be visited by my various awesome 1UP friends, and look forward to meeting new ones here. We'll see what happens. Either way, welcome to the Bannendrome...