The Bannendrome

Monday's Report | Ladies Night

2009-06-29T05:05:00.001-07:00

Greatest. Day. Ever.

When it comes to gaming, there are certain events that trigger burst of happiness and excitement that are hard to duplicate. Getting a new game is always something the be happy about, though its the most common of occurrences and therefore has become something more akin to a dose needed to keep my addiction in check. The highest levels of euphoria have always come from that magical moment when I receive a new console and open the box, catching the first signiture smell of plastic and electronics. It's decidedly technological and always fantastic. But yesterday I got to experience a new sort of rush, something I haven't felt for the many years I've spent with video games, and it was wonderful - helping my wife create an Xbox Live profile. You must first understand that outside of Tetris, Animal Crossing, and the Paper Mario games, my wife isn't exactly a fan of video games. She's accepting if not entirely thrilled that it's my hobby of choice but she'll rarely watch me play anything and even more rarely actually sits down to play something herself. The Wii allowed her to indulge slightly, but once she reached the end of Super Paper Mario, she bring herself to defeat the final boss because then "the game would be over" - that was two years ago. Technically, the game has indeed never ended for her. Adorable. But yesterday she decided she wanted to join me in a game of 1 vs 100, and to do that we had to craft her a profile and an avatar, and being able to help her do that and then sit beside her and enjoy some good old fashioned trivia was not just fun, but something that made me very happy. Being able to share video games with my wife and make the time together count towards a good time is not an everyday event. I loved it.

As I mentioned a couple posts ago, we've got all kinds of hassle coming our way, but this new window into my wife's perhaps possible interest in gaming is great, and she's even curious about games like Viva Pinata that share her natural love of things like Animal Crossing. She's also interested in those more "traditional" puzzle games available for download on Xbox Live Arcade. Hell, she even brought up that she was even "curious" about World of Warcraft. I mean, I'm not even into the idea of WoW, but if she is, that's a whole other story! If I do not help her explore these new areas of interest, then I am a failure both as a husband and as a life-long gamer. All of this gaming talk did lead to a discussion of bringing the Xbox 360 up from the basement den and putting it in the living room, which made me laugh for a few minutes, but it also brought up the idea of somehow getting our hands on a second 360 that would be all for her - mostly because my HDD is nearly full and also because it'll allow us to maybe play some other online games together that do not offer split screen play. Secretly, I'm hoping to get her into Left 4 Dead. How awesome would that be!? I have other friends/couples that employ the one-console-per-spouse idea so that both have their own access to HDD space, their own profiles free from the other meddling with, so it's not exactly unheard of. Doing research, a refurbished Xbox 360 from GameStop is fairly affordable. Toss in an equally affordable refurbished HDD and we've got a plan that STILL is cheaper than a PS3. It is, of course, extremly irresponsible to do that at this time, given the looming situation with money and employment I brought up a few posts ago - but we're always so damn careful about everything that I figure we rightly deserve to make one poor financial decision before the locks are firmly in place. Honestly, it probably won't come to pass because we always break down and make the "responsible" choice (for the record, being responsible has done very little in terms of rewards or doing us much good, but that's how we are), but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get her one - complete with the pink controller she wanted and a pink faceplate I found on eBay... That new wave of joy rushes over me again just by reading that sentence. Awesome.

Media Mentions Of The Week

2009-06-26T04:49:00.000-07:00

Taking Time To Talk Entertainment

THE WORLD OF FILM
There used to be a time when any movie having even a passing resemblance to a "summer blockbuster" made it onto my list of movies I'd absolutely have to see as soon as it came out. This year, however, that trend has taken a sudden and sharp dive right into the ground for reasons I can only (sadly) point to as symptoms that I'm leaving the "young man" portion of my life. It started with X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which I still haven't seen yet. It's weird that I'd skip out on an action-packed superhero movie, especially one that branches from the pretty-good-if-you-don't-talk-about-part-3 X-Men series. For the first time, footage of things blowing up while the hero walks away in slow motion and the allure of a overly complex fight scenes just didn't pull me in. Have I just now started to listen to reviews and internet complaints!? I don't know the reasons for sure, but Wolverine slipped from earning my $10 and instead has slid to my increasingly busy "maybe when it's out on DVD" list. A month or so later and this whole phenomenon unfolded again with Terminator Salvation. A year ago I would have been all over anything that contained robots fighting Christian Bale, especially when you toss a brief apperance from a CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger into the mix... But I simply never got around to it - and the odd part is that I'm totally okay with that! It used to be that missing out on the opening weekend of such films would drive me nuts, but I'm actually doing just fine. Just as easily, I'm not worried about seeing the explosion orgy that is Transformers 2 - and that movie is basically created with the sole purpose of bring me to the theater. Between you and me, if I did go out to see a movie this weekend, it would be to see The Hangover for a second time. All these other movies that have long been part of my cinematic wheelhouse and would have had me foaming at the mouth will instead simply become part of the waiting list on my Netflix queue... What the hell does it all mean?

GAMING AND ME
As my In Rotation section currently has listed, I'm trying to juggle Prototype, Ghostbusters, and my second run-through of Fallout 3 at the moment. I'm on an economically-imposed game buying hiatus now that I've secured Ghostbusters, and that's actually probably the very best thing that can happen to me at the moment. Not only do I have a host of newish games that have been pushed aside by the even newer ones, but I also have that most common of gamer afflictions, the dreaded Pile of Shame - all those games that I started but for numerous reasons never got around to finishing. Honestly the number of games I have that still require my attention is somewhat staggering - stuff like Resistance: Fall of Man is begging for attention, finishing up Half-Life 2 and the two episode in The Orange Box is a task I've spent years avoiding, Stranglehold still need to be completed, and I'm in the middle of defending Little Mac's belt in Punch-Out!!...the list of stuff I've forgotten about doesn't seem to have a clear end. It would do me some good to have my focus return to them, even if it's basically by force. Ghostbusters was the digital equivalent of a wrecking ball, knocking everything else clearly out of my rotation. Now that I've played through the game twice, I'm really only interested in the multiplayer for the moment, and that means all my single-player time can return to other things that are on my mind. Prototype deserves a mighty return, especially since I'm really starting to unlock some seriously fun powers and abilities. There's nothing quite like absorbing a military base's commander and then calling in an airstrike to eradicate the same base I just casually strolled out of. Shortly thereafter I can take out a group of commandos with my awesome claw hands. Seriously, Prototype is all sort of fun. Also making a return is Fallout 3. In my original playthrough I managed to play the Operation: Anchorage DLC and really liked it. Since ending that character's story, Bethesda has released three more packs of DLC - it's time for me to return to the Capital Wastes. I had started up a new character, a skull-crushing young women who favors brutal melee attacks and heavy weapons over the stealthy and sneaky methods my much more ethical male character utilized my first time through. But Fallout 3 is huge, and before I can really tackle all that new content I need to level my lethal lady up a bit, and that requires some time on top of the hours and hours that The Pitt, Broken Steel, and now Point Lookout are going to add to the experience. Almost as if to pile on, Bethesda plans on releasing the last chapter of the Fallout 3 DLC, Mothership Zeta, sometime in late July. By then I'll probably be Level 22 and still trudging through the mud in the swamps of Point Lookout. I move so slow...

MUSIC NEVER TRULY DIES, IT JUST STOPS TO MOURN
Michael Jackson is dead. It's no surprise that the world seems to have suddenly forgotten the things we've all spend the better part of 15 years piling up on, but when you seperate the weird-ass personal life shit from the artist merit and contribution, there is little doubt that Michael Jackson was one of the best and now simply isn't the time for cheapshots - there's plenty of time for that later, just ask Marilyn Monroe and Abraham Lincoln. I do like to picture that somewhere in the ether of the Other World, he and Elvis are finally locked in vicious combat over who truly was the greatest - and The King probably still isn't all that thrilled about the whole Lisa Marie thing either. If nothing else, Michael Jackson gave us Off The Wall and Thriller, and there's nothing that can take that away. I'd mention Bad, but Weird Al hopelessly ruined that for me forever...

Monday's Report | Reality Intrudes

2009-06-24T04:10:00.000-07:00

Wednesday Is The New Monday...

When you're a kid or young adult, you like to think you've got it made, but it's not until you're an actual adult that you often get to see the perks of age and years of focused independence. Being able to drive my car to the home I own at the end of a long workday is about as great as any reward I've ever experienced, especially since the wife and I have worked together for a decade to claw ourselves up to where we are now from a horrible little one-bedroom apartment all those years ago... And as a married man sans children, I have been afforded certain flexibility over the years in how I get to spend bits of our disposable income - mostly in gaming stuff, since I love it. We do our best not to live outside our means, and up until this point things have been going alright. But the other side of the "Great to be an adult" coin is when reality punches you square in the gut. Such as a couple days ago when we discovered my wife's job (which is state funded) is going to be going bye-bye come September 1st when that funding is cut from the budget due to the fact that Michigan is drowning in red ink. Normally, there would at least be the small comfort in knowing that there is two and a half months (ish) available for her to look for new employment. Trouble is, we live in Southeast Michigan - if you haven't heard the news, things are somewhat dire here in terms of employment and job oppertunities of any sort, including the medical field my wife currently works in and loves. I'll also stop being coy and simply say that we have been kicking around the idea of finally having a child after five years of trying, a task that (as it turns out) hasn't been as simple as so many others have lead us to believe. We had spent plenty of time getting our hopes up about that when the job thing hit and now we're staring down the barrel of what the hell we're going to do, both in terms of being a fully represented "family" and how to balance that with something even slightly resembling financial stability. The wife's not pregnant at the moment, but at this point the idea of having to put that on hold again would lead us both down a familiar path paved with disappointment and good ol' fashion Depression Pizza - my #1 food item of choice when the floor drops out from under me. But while I am determined to raise an adorable minion to do my bidding, I'm also concerned about whether or not it's right to bring a new life into a situation that isn't as economically secure as I'd like it to be. My mom, talking about the matter, said the truest (truthiest?) phrase my grandma ever spoke to her was "If you wait until you're ready to have a child, you never will" - and while that's probably correct because my grandma was awesome, I can't help but give in to the more paranoid and defensive part of my nature and indeed wait - I am, after all, already plagued with a feeling of deep dread all around. Nightmares of losing the house aren't out of the question, at least in my overactive imagination. I'm wondering if we should wait at least until we're sure my wife can land on her feet and we're not counting on unemployment for her and *sigh* perhaps getting a second part-time job for me... Ideas are being discussed, plans of action that do take advantage of unemployment and various state aid for things while she finishes school (she's currently attending - almost done) and help take care of the as-yet-to-be kid, but I cannot escape the small voice in the back of my head who is taking the time to both whisper sweet terror in my ear and tell me how irresponsible I'd be...

Heavy discussion for the Bannendrome's usual fare, I know, but sometimes you've just got to scream and get at least some of it out. Consider this that scream.

Reviewish | PROTOTYPE

2009-06-11T04:07:00.000-07:00

Boy Meats World

Welcome to Reviewish, where I kinda-sorta "review" games I haven't actually completed yet. See, I play games at my own pace - which is a nice way to say I play them very slowly. But after I play what I deem to be enough of any one game to get the proper feel of what it is and has to offer, I'm ready to put my not-entirely informed stamp on it. Enjoy!

There's really two types of open-world "sandbox" games you can choose from. There's the ones like the GTA series, where your charcater is just an average guy (in videogame terms) who is limited to how he can interact with his world and requires some sort help from vehicles or ladders to reach the higher points in the game's setting. Then there is the sub-genre that's populated by characters with superhuman powers that allow them to, one way or the other, explore their environment with just about full freedom and interact with the world in ways Niko Bellic could only dream of. On the PS3, this type of game has gotten a recent double-dose of awesome thanks to the exclusive InFamous and now the rather impressive Prototype. Aside from the fact that both games feature large cityscapes and lead characters that have received unbelievable powers against their will, the similarities between InFamous and Prototype end - and there's been debate among PS3 enthusiasts about which is "better", and that's a debate I want no part of. Each game is great and each game is fun, it's just that each game has their own vision. InFamous has "real-world" grit surrounding Cole McGrath and his struggle to figure out his new place in a city he'll either safe or doom, but it doesn't cross a certain line when it comes to how far it's willing to take its dark storytelling. Blood and gore are simply not part of Cole's experience, and that's fine - there's enough cues in Cole's adventures to make the death and dispair of Empire City's citizens to make the non-existance of blood acceptable. Just because there's no blood in InFamous doesn't lessen the blow when I round a corner and see two bodies laying dead in the street who I might have been able to save had I only arrived a little sooner. In contrast, Prototype comes on strong with a story you're told right away isn't going to end well and with its star, Alex Mercer, who is more than ready to accept the labels of killer, monster, and terrorist - Hell, he says exactly that as soon as you boot up the game. Where Cole may choose to be "evil", he has different standards than Alex, who spends much of his time finding new and exciting ways of reducing people (enemies, innocents, or otherwise) to a red paste without a single pause to consider the moral weight of his actions. Simply put, while Cole is driven by the need to find answers, Alex is more interested in vengeance regardless of cost. From here on out, the discussion about InFamous and Prototype end, at least on my part. InFamous still rocks... But this post is all about Prototype, and damn is it incredible.

Yeah, Prototype's main calling card is probably its over-the-top violence - but for a moment let me state that the game also has a rather nice grasp on how to tell its tale, and it does a couple neat tricks to not only foreshadow things to come but also tell the story in a shattered state that mirrors Alex's own fractured memory. Take, for example, when the game begins. You're playing 18 days in the future. Manhattan is in ruins. Mutants are flooding the streets, innocent citizens are running and screaming for their live while the military is killing any and everything that moves, Times Square is burning and Alex is right in the middle. At this point Alex is a near-unstoppable walking tank, crushing targets with huge augmented and armored fists, and using massive bladed fingers to rend limbs off soldiers. And let me not forget the 20-story leaps and the ability to glide long distance to provide terrible knee-drops from the sky that shatters concrete and send cars and corpses flying. Then, as Alex finds his target (a military commander in charge of the Time Square battle) the game flashes back to where Alex's story, and your game, begins. Alex wakes up on a cold autopsy table in a secret lab somewhere in Manhattan and after breaking out he has to escape pursuing special forces commandos. Suddenly it dawns on you that all the powers and strength Alex had in that hellish vision of Times Square don't exist yet. At this point, Alex's abilities are limited to being able to run quite fast, leap three times higher than an average person, and deliver superhuman punches - but that's about it. Getting past the opening sequence, the more over-arching method Prototype uses to have its backstory unfold is in the interesting and fun Web of Intrigue. Basically it's a clever way of combining storytelling with collectables, and it works quite nicely. Alex has the power to consume people - and it's visually disturbing if not out-right cool. Alex does this for numerous reasons, like to increase his health, but consuming someone also lets Alex share the target's knowledge. Consume a helicopter pilot and now Alex can pilot one on his own, for example. But the for special targets, the more important thing is that they know something that relates to Alex's current condition and the conspiracy behind everything that sending New York spiraling into Hell - and when Alex consumes one of these special target he unlocks another node on the Web on Intrigue. It's a very unique gameplay element, and it fits with Alex's own troubles with trying to get all the facts straight. The web itself is huge, and while it starts with only a few bits and pieces filled in, it starts to form a bigger picture once more memories are added. I like it.

Story's great, but how does it play? Thankfully, it plays quite well. Prototype was developed by Radical Entertainment, the fine folks that brought us quite possibly the best licensed superhero game of all time, Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, and they brought over plenty of what they learned from that open-world chaos fiesta to their newest title. I'm not sure I ever played a game like this where the star made me feel so damn powerful. I mean, I'm nowhere deep in the game yet and even with only a few powers and upgrades purchased I have a distinct feeling of being a complete bad-ass. I can only imagine what it's going to be like later on when Alex is bursting at the seams with crazy new powers and abilities. Prototype's controls can be a bit complex at first, especially once the combos and new control optionos start piling up, but it never gets to the point where the game is hard to play or simply broken. After the slight learning curve passes, you'll be causing unspeakable harm to people who may or may not deserve it in no time... I happen to enjoy the simple act of running around Manhattan, which involves a cool hands-off sort of parkour that sends Alex flipping and flying over obsticles in his way such as cars, barricades, and hapless people crowding sidewalks, only to jump over their heads and begin running up the side of a skyscraper. Sadly, I don't currently have the glide ability, but with improved jumping and faster sprinting, I have Alex ping-ponging and leaping all over the rooftops of the upper-west side. And should I have to dispatch any number of foes that stand in my way, the game's combat is actually really fun, and that's before I add the laundry list of weapons available to me later on.

But aside from running around and killing things, Prototype's other enjoyable portion is building up Alex's suite of powers and abilities (which is then used to run around and kill things). Whenever Alex killes a foe, discovers a collectable, succeeds in a side-mission, or completes a main story mission, he earns Evolution Points. These points are used to purchase new powers and abilities off of a list that slowly starts to unlock more and more choices as the game goes on. While new powers are always great to have, you can also purchase new moves to use in combat or that help movement like gliding or a handy dodge-roll. There's also a list of upgrades that adds to things like Alex's running speed, jumping height, his durability, and even down to stuff like skills he can use when in the disguise of someone he's consumed, like calling air strikes as a military commander. Many of the upgrades also have numerous levels available to them as well, so you might have three different speed upgrades to buy or new levels that make powers stronger and more deadly. It's really cool to see how you're changing Alex and there seems to be so much to pick through that you can really tailor Alex to how you want to play. For the moment, I've invested a lot into his speed and agility, not to mention the very handy ability to pick up people while I'm in mid-sprint. I did this because the idea of grabbing a target while running through a crowd and then consuming him or her on a rooftop seems too fun to pass up...

As you can imagine, Prototype's basic mission structures cover all the bases for a game of this sort from the go-here-kill-there objectives to racing to somewhere to every those pesky escort missions. It does seem like there are some wicked difficulty spikes at times, which is another thing shared between this game and Ultimate Destruction. I remember those defend-the-building missions being a real bitch in Hulk... So far though, Prototype is proving to be a very fun experience only flawed by some less than cutting-edge visuals and moments where the game gets ahead of itself, but for a game that has so much going on most of the time there is no slowdown whatsoever, and for that I am impressed... I understand it's not for everyone - some people will either dislike the gore or simply don't like this genre of game, but if you are a fan of games like the before-mentioned InFamous or Xbox 360's own exclusive gem, Crackdown, then there's no reason to miss out on the pure joy that is Prototype. Highly recommended!

Why I Don't Gamble And Other Fun Tidbits

2009-06-10T04:59:00.001-07:00

Let's Call It A Draw, Shall We?

E3 2009 was a little over a week ago, but I'm back to do some fact check on my ill-advised predictions - also known as "completely random guesses". Thankfully, more than one of my thoughts could be totally open to opinion, so I get to squeak by without having the majority of my predictions simply being flatout false. Breaking things down by company, I failed with Sony the most - and I blame that on being completely unable to figure out what they'd do after last year's snooze-worthy "Year of the PS3" presser that featured a whole lot of video montages and not much else. 2008, what a horrible year for E3... Anyway, let's break these down and see how I did.

MICROSOFT:
Motion Control Announced: DRAW: I'm calling this one a draw because my thought was that the 360 would soon find itself with a handheld answer to the Wiimote. Instead we got Project Natal, a camera-based motion control system that promises unbelievable fidelity that will allow motion-based interaction unlike anything we've ever seen before. Lots of people in the gaming world thought Natal was groundbreaking, and if it functions as shown, perhaps it will be. But when it comes to gaming that doesn't involve a more traditional controller, I'm usualy pretty skeptical - even more so when it involves some sort of camera, something Natal isn't the first at trying. Sadly, the video Microsoft showed seemed more like ~~lies~~ hype than anything else, especially the section where the kid scans his skateboard into the game. I found it amazing that the Natal was not only able to determine the pattern on the side of the board it couldn't see but also somehow ignore the kid's fingers that were gripping the sides. Also, I don't trust Peter Molyneux's video featuring Milo, the virtual boy that seems shockingly lifelike and reacts according to not just your motions but your body language and facial cues. If Molyneux is known for anything, at least to me, it's selling you one thing and delivering roughly 32% of it, and I cannot believe the video wasn't trickery. It's up to him to prove it. Stuff like that always makes me doubt a device's true ability once it's actually released - and we got a sneak peek of how Natal might need a little work when they showed how the device allows you to make your avatar copy your own moves, which instead of being spot-on sent the poor little guy into a series of nightmarish twists and bends that the human form was simply not meant for. On the upside, it did create E3's most beloved meme for 2009...

Casual Games For That Motion Control: CORRECT!: As I figured, you can't have a motion-control-based way to play games without a series of useless minigames to make you live up to the gimmick. Microsoft showed a series of these sorts of games which included one where you kick and bunch a series of dodgeballs and another where you...throw paint. It seemed like some people really dug these shots of what Natal could do, but for me they seem like something that would amuse me for about 45 minutes and then leave me wondering why the hell I just spent $100+ on this gizmo. What the Natal needs is a game that allows for something more universally accepted by gamers, like a shooter. Imagine being able to use real hand-signals to your squadmates or really throw a grenade and have its distance and arc based on your actual arm motion and speed. That's a lot more impressive and fun that using my body to form the illusion of an elephant.

Halopalooza: DRAW: I was wrong that Bungie was done with the Halo franchise - and honestly I'm disappointed they aren't moving on to anything new. What was the point of breaking off from Microsoft again? It must get pretty boring making the same franchise games over and over and over. But I'm not a developer, so maybe I'm wrong. But Sure enough, ODST wasn't the only game Microsoft announced, and now we have Halo: Reach arriving in 2010, and we got to see it in a very short teaser clip. Go me.

360 Portable: INCORRECT!: Maybe it's just simply fact that Microsoft will never enter the handheld console war. Maybe that's actually a wise decision given the fact that Nintendo and Sony are no longer alone in the battle, now facing off against the likes of the iPhone. Warming the bench might be the best place to watch the carnage...

SONY:
God of War III in 2009: INCORRECT!: One of my many PS3 longshots, Sony finally came out to announce that Kratos will follow his pattern of showing up in March and will arrive in 2010. Bummer. I really think it's a mistake seeing as how Sony still didn't show any killer titles for this year's holiday season, even somehow ignoring titles like the new Ratchet & Clank - Insomniac usually gets all sorts of Sony love, not so much this year. Weird.

Fat Princess Now: INCORRECT!: I really do hate Sony sometimes. They tease the hell out of Fat Princess: Fistful of Cake on the PSP but don't even give a release date for the original PS3 version that people (like me) are foaming at the moutch to play. If the PSP version comes out before the PS3 one does, I may have to cut a bitch.

Sony Motion Control: CORRECT!: Sony had their own motion control reveal, though it didn't even have a name attached to it. Seemed boring. Have I mentioned how much I hate motion control?

New Twisted Metal: INCORRECT!: This one hurts, dear reader. I was really hoping Sony would shock and amaze by showing off a new cutting-edge edition of the Twisted Metal franchise, but sadly David Jaffe kept his word. 2010 perhaps?

NINTENDO:
Kid Icarus: INCORRECT!: Okay, fine - it's never happening, I get it. Bastards.

Boring Shit I'm Supposed To Be Excited About: DRAW: Perception and personal opinion make this one hard to declare as either correct or incorrect, but for my money a lot of what Nintendo had to show off was...rather "Meh". I could almost hear the crickets when the WiiFit sequel was announced and while a lot of people are pretty jazzed about New Super Mario Bros. Wii, I think the game looks kind of boring if not a game entire worth the $50 price tag. Once again, internet play is nowhere to be found for a game built around multiplayer action. And while it's cool to have Mario and Luigi jumping around together through levels with bland visual design, the Toads that players 3 and 4 are forced to use are sort of a punch in the mouth considering the rich world Mario games have to pull from. Toads? Who the hell wants to play as a couple Toads!? Why not Birdo and/or Yoshi? While NSMBW is a nice game to add to the pile, I'm not sure it's a killer surprise that many were hoping to hear about. Honestly, the game looks like a rehashed DS title, and for Nintendo that's becoming somewhat typical lately. *coughanimalcrossingcough*

The Trinity: CORRECT!: Super Mario Galaxy 2 is a huge reveal, and it shows the Nintendo at least is willing to give some sort of love to the fans who demand more than cameo apperances in minigame collections. The biggest surprise though had to be the announcement of the new Metroid game that's being co-developed by Team Ninja - who saw that coming!? Retro may have indeed moved on but Nintendo's moving quick to bring some mysterious new twist to one of their most beloved series. Zelda got a quick mention but it seems like 2010 is going to be when we hear more about that.

So there they are - all my predictions for better or worse. I think I came out alright...

Things might be changing in the Bannendrome soon, though not here so much as in my real-life home. The wife and I are working on adding something to the place that may or may not involve the number of people living here expanding by one. This means a lot of things but most critical of those (to me, naturally) is that we're locking down the household budget, and one of the first things to dry up is the once-disposable income I gladly used to increase the amount of games I have laying around. It looks like once Ghostbusters rolls around, I'm done with purchasing any new games for a very long time. I've said such things before, but this time things are a little different and this is the real deal - and between you and me, I'm okay with it... I do have a pretty severe Backlog of Shame I can use to keep me busy and it's great timing that I now live in an era where the lifespan of a game I already own can be extended via downloadable content. Games like Burnout Paradise are adding entire new portions to their worlds and a personal favorite, Fallout 3, not only has two bits of DLC I have yet to enjoy (The Pitt and Broken Steel) but also has two more episodes on the way in the forms of Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta - in particular, Point Lookout is happily including the overlooked mutated redneck population of the Capital Wastes, which was always sorely lacking. It's stuff like this that will be much more affordable and help me get through those tough times when the rest of my pals are out enjoying the latest release while I'm still working on Resistance or maybe finally having the free time to master those LittleBigPlanet creation tools.

As for news on why this clamp-down on cash is afoot, I'll hopefully have word to pass along in the weeks and months to come...

Monday's Report | E3 Rises From The Dead

2009-06-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

Like A Lovecraftian Horror, E3 Returns!

You can almost smell it in the air; the fresh scents of nerd sweat, booth babe perfume, and shiny new electronics - E3 2009 is here. Technically it'll be here at 10:30am PST, when Microsoft gives the keynote address to really kick things off, but the point still stands. Normally, the presentations put on by the big three of the console world are supposed to deliver thrills, surprises, and incredible hype - fail to do any of these things and you're labeled an out-right failure. So why is it that all the big news has largely been spilled already? In 2009, moreso than ever before, companies have either already made many of their big announcements public or had their big news leaked and then forcibly confirmed (hello, slim PS3). It's a bizarre way to do business, to be sure, and almost takes the wind completely out of the sails of the Expo. What's the point? The biggest disappointment is that I have the sneaking suspicion we're going to get almost nothing in the way of that one big "OMG!" moment from any of the big three. We'll natually get the things the companies want to be those big OMG moments - but those when they're along the lines of something like Nintendo's somewhat depressing reveal of WiiMusic, they tend to fall flat, if not just create a meme that surges through the gaming universe like thunder. I can see that same thing happening when/if Microsoft and/or Sony unveil their suspected motion controllers and releated software. Such announcements seem deflating - especially when they're coupled with software that the audiences knows full well will be underwhelming at best. Word on the PSP Go! and slim PS3 are sort of weird for me since revised versions of hardware rarely if ever generate any sort of excitement for me - and since the slim version of the PS3 is supposedly NOT coming with a price drop, what's the point aside from saving Sony some production cash? I'm more than fine with my big and chunky 60GB PS3, even more when I remember that I have a version that still is able to play PS1 and PS2 games before the feature was unceremoniously torn from the guts of the later SKUs... One of the small benefits of early adoption, I guess. Even still, I can't help but hold out hope that something big is looming just out of sight - something that has managed to remain undetected by the seething internet horde and from shoddy corporate obfuscation. I have no idea what such a secret would be, but it's got to involve software. A big first party game that has been kept locked away from anyone not directly involved in its development - even within its own company. For me, my big money is on...well, hell with this, let me just get to my predictions. That's what we're supposed to do when we talk about E3 anyway, right?

MICROSOFT PREDICTIONS:
The Era of "Xaggle": One of the worst-kept secrets was Microsoft's keen interest in capitalizing on the Wii's unique motion control that anchors the entire development of the console's catalog. The idea of Microsoft introducing such waggle-based gaming has been swirling for at least a year, and if they're ever going to make it official, I think it's got to happen this year. Still, and I have to make this completely clear, it's a terrible idea. The Xbox 360 has its own audience, and while Microsoft is obviously trying to cater to the Wii crowds and mimic Nintendo's strategies in many ways, this one will be an absolute failure. Be careful what you wish for, Microsoft, you may want to be like Nintendo, but for every success like the Wii or DS there's also a Virtual Boy or R.O.B. - and this one might just be yours.

Casual Living: Acting as a bookend to the motion control, I'm betting Microsoft is going to "show off" a host of new casual-style games that run through XBLA, probably utilizing avatars and helmed by Rare. They're going to be party games - and that means a shit load of minigames, which have long since worn out their welcome on the Wii.

The Circular Tease: Bungie might be walking away from Halo after ODST, but that doesn't mean Microsoft is going to let their most popular and iconic franchise go out like that - expect an extremely short teaser clip showing absolutely no in-game footage for the next chapter in the proper Halo series, developed internally by Microsoft and aiming for a holiday 2010 release. They're going to try really hard to nail the viusal style of Bungie, and they're going to fail. It's going to look like a weird mish-mosh of those glossy metallic colors Bungie painted everything with colliding head-on with the dirty grime of, say, Gears of War.

Power In Your Hands: Microsoft probably won't announce a new handheld console ala the Portable 360, but I suspect that the new Zune will tie directly into your Xbox Live account and possibly even allow you to play some or maybe even ALL your XBLA games. That would be bad-ass.

SONY PREDICTIONS:
Gods Die Earlier: I'll just get this out of the way because it's what I hope for the most out of anything at E3 this year, but I'm hoping and praying that Sony announces a 2009 release date for God of War III. Traditionally, GoW games have arrived in March, putting the newest chapter of Sony's greatest saga in 2010 - and thereby making me sad. But I'm holding out hope that Sony is much more interested in making a direct impact in a holiday season that's oddly lacking any real competition from the usual likes of Marcus Fenix or Master Chief.

The Princess Has Arrived: Sony will announce that as soon as their presentation is over, Fat Princess will be released on the PSN. My head explodes with delight. The end.

The Era of ~~SixAxis 2~~ "Saggle": Motion control - it's like a plague of bad ideas that's eating all the crops. The SixAxis never really took off, no matter how much Sony would like to imagine otherwise, and to introduce yet another version of it, even if it's packaged in a new peripheral is nuts. Like Microsoft's trip into waggle-ville, expect Sony to package with a suite of poorly thought-out party games that will keep your interest for roughly 42 minutes and never touch it again.

Dave Jaffe Is A Liar: I don't know that to be true, but I'm hoping he's a liar. He's on record saying that his new company has no announcements to make at E3 this year, which (in theory) could include info on a new Twisted Metal game. Like the God of War in 2009 prediction, this has less to do with fact or even a gut feeling so much as it does pure wishful thinking. It's been almost ten years since the last proper TM game, and my mind wanders when I think how much the new leaps in technology and growth in online play could make Twisted Metal into a truly incredible online experience. *sigh*

NINTENDO PREDICTIONS:
From The Clouds, He Comes: How long have people wanted a Kid Icarus game? It's been a few years, easy - and then when Pit showed up in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, it was like the floodgates let loose and Kid Icarus mania swallowed the fanbase whole. Sadly, Nintendo doesn't seem to share the same level of glee over the property, and anything regarding a revisit of the material has largely been internet ~~lies~~ rumor. But, like Microsoft's waggle controller, I suspect that if there's going to be big Kid Icarus news, it's got to come this year - it's just a feeling I have.

WiiBoring: Nintendo seems preoccupied with their casual catalog, and while WiiMusic was the failure that maybe WiiFit should have been, we all know Nintendo's got a fuzzy learning curve and a taste of casual cash fresh in its maw. Expect something incredibly lame - WiiWhistle or WiiBreathe or some other mundane, everyday activity perverted into a motion-controlled batch of minigames featuring the Miis. F@$%in' minigames...

The Big Guns: To bring back some of the steam the Wii has lost in the last few months, Nintendo needs to bring in the services of its #1 employee and global mascot - Mario. And I'm not talking about Mario showing up in a sports game or some other tangent title, I mean a real Mario game. Mario Galaxy was one hell of a title, and normally I wouldn't expect some sort of follow-up to arrive so soon, and perhaps an announcement will simply foreshadow, but don't be shocked if a new honest-to-god Mario game is shown. The same can be said for Link. While Spirit Tracks is inbound, I wouldn't be surprised if a Wii tie-in is announced - to make it more interesting, I'm guessing it'll return to the Wind Waker visuals the handheld titles have used for a couple years now. As for the third part of the holy trinity, Samus will be missing this year. With Retro done with Metroid, the best we're going to get is the Metroid Prime Trilogy - which doesn't offer much of anything to those who played all three games before aside from some fringe goodies I cannot get too excited about. But to each their own...

OTHER PREDICTIONS:
So Dark The Con Of Duke: This is like 1,000,000:1 odds, but there has been more than one person suspecting that the whole 3D Realms implosion earlier this year was actually part of an elaborate scam - the finale of the industry's biggest joke, if you will - and that E3 will be where they and Take Two not only show off but out-right announce a firm Fall 2009 release date for Duke Nukem Forever on the PC, Xbox 360, and PS3. I think a lot of this idea comes from people who have been deeply wounded by the DNF experience and cannot believe the way the whole train wreck ended, but if this were to actually be true, it would have to be the grestest prank ever played on the community. It would be astounding - and frankly, I do not believe that a company that took 12 years to make a FPS could ever think up and then properly execute such a con. But I've been wrong once or twice before...

Plasmids Inbound: I hate when games are seemingly forced into putting multiplayer in a game. Not only does it seem to simply not fit some games, but more often than not the online portion is horrible and no one plays it anyway - including all the people that cried for it to be included. I hate those people. Even with that being said, I imagine Bioshock 2 not only showing off the game's online portion, but having it blow people away. It would be a fitting revelation for a game that I whole-heartedly believe doesn't need any sort of online component.

Alright, that's all I got for now. Don't forget to check out all those live blogs out there this afternoon when E3 gets underway so you can all witness how little I actually know about anything, and also don't forget that America's part in the 1 VS. 100 beta begins at 10:30pm EST tonight on Xbox Live! Play it and I'll hopefully see you there!

Monday's Report | The Return

2009-05-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

The Tradition Returns!

Oh, how I missed you, Monday's Report... A weekly trend that always brought me so much joy around the otherwise dank and empty corridors of the Bannendrome. I'm glad to have you back, old friend. Of course, today's not Monday, it's Wednesday - but Monday was Memorial Day and I was busy firing up the grill for some of my famous burgers and slaving away while putting together patio furniture that was most certainly engineered in Hell. I still have that glow of new home-ownership, and finally putting a nice set of table and chairs on a patio that was wasted last summer does nothing but make me absolutely thrilled. All I need to do now is throw a fire pit in the back yard and I'm golden. I could have also put together a ~~Monday's~~ Report on Tuesday, but frankly I was busy playing inFAMOUS all day - which, by the way, is possibly the greatest reason to own a PS3 since Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Expect me to throw up a Reviewish on the topic later this week. Simply put, it still may not be the one magical system-seller Sony has been searching for (Pro-Tip For Sony: God of War III), but it's easily one of the most enjoyable open-world-type games I've played, and while there's no popular hero license in sight, it might be one of the very best superhero games on the market...ever. Oh yeah, that's hyperbole all over your face, bitches. Now all I need to do is see if Prototype can live up to this level of quality. Let's just say I have my doubts.

In terms of movies, I think I've turned some kind of corner as a consumer and as someone who once took great pride in my ability to "shut my brain off" during a movie so long as I was rewarded with things exploding in new and exciting ways. Now, I'm not saying I've become a snob by any means - Star Trek was sweet. But other big name "blockbusters" that have come up so far in the last months or so I've had almost no desire to see, and for me it's weird to think thoughts like "I'll catch Terminator: Salvation on DVD" or "That Wolverine movie is garbage" - and yet here I am, having not seen Wolverine and in no real hurry to see the Future War unfold in front of my eyes. Let me tangent here a bit and say that if McG really would like to earn some sort of respect as a director, a nice place to start would be moving past the age of really dumb nicknames. McG is fond of thinking his moniker is a self-imposed scarlet letter to rise above - but reality is that it's goofy shit that audiences are swiftly starting to turn away from. Not that his name is by any means the complete reason a new Terminator film was bested by a Ben Stiller family flick opening weekend, but I doubt it helped in any regard. To think that not even Christian Bale, fresh off of the monsterous pop culture juggernaut that was The Dark Knight, could help make it that smashing success that Warner Bros. was hoping to build two more films upon... Tell me that Michael Bay, Stephen Sommers or maybe even Brett Ratner directed T4 and it stands a far better chance of getting a firm hold of my $9.00 - I take that back, Brett Ratner sucks. But let's all watch and see the crazy money that Transformers 2 effortlessly earns... All in all, the reviews for T4 aren't great and I have to wonder if this franchise is really and truly dead, if not just put on the shelf for six years until a complete reboot is considered. Modern Hollywood, you've got to love it.

The Ghostbusters video game is finally just three weeks away and I'm doing just about everything I can to distract myself. To think that it was almost a year ago that I completely lost my mind when Activision dropped the game... Oh, the memories! Reviews are slowly trickling in, and so far they at least seem positive - 8's and 9's out of 10 aren't bad by any means - though between you and me, even if the game came with a sticker on the front that read "This Game Is Shit", I'd still happily buy it... And with the game's hype mixing lovingly with the 25th anniversary of the original movie's release this summer (damn I feel so old), it has brought up a flurry of discussion over the long-talked-about Ghostbusters 3 movie actually becoming something resembling reality. Dan Aykroyd has certainly said some crazy, crazy things - including discussion of troops of "boys and girls" learning the ropes and mastering equipment that allows them to travel interdimensionally - it makes me so happy that Harold Ramis is around to shake his head "No" and bring Dan down to something resembling reality. Do you have any idea how screwed up Ghostbusters would have been had Ramis not been brought in to take the whole concept from Aykroyd and boil it down to what we know today? Kiss just about every thing you hold dear about the movie goodbye... The firehouse, the Ecto-1, the Proton Pack, Venkman, etc - all gone. I must admit that the idea of a GB3 is something I've dreamed of since I walked out of the theater in 1989, fresh off the high from my third viewing of Ghostbusters II - but it's been two decades and I was much easier to please then. Can Ghostbusters 3 manage to learn lessons that GB2 taught, namely that the movie should be less about gimmicks like rivers of neon-colored slime and more about the inter-personal relationships and banter? We'll have to see, I guess, though I've long since held the rule that I will not even begin to get my hopes up about a third movie until I see an actual trailor in the theaters. Until then, it's all evil internet-fueled lies and I'll have no part of them...

Reviewish | PUNCH-OUT!!

2009-05-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Bars Are Your Friend!

Welcome to Reviewish, where I kinda-sorta "review" games I haven't actually completed yet. See, I play games at my own pace - which is a nice way to say I play them very slowly. But after I play what I deem to be enough of any one game to get the proper feel of what it is and has to offer, I'm ready to put my not-entirely informed stamp on it. Enjoy!

Oh, and feel free to play this clip while reading my reviewish of Punch-Out!!, I think it adds a little something to the experience...

I can only assume that for dedicated game developers, bringing back classic and charished games can be an incredibly difficult task. If you stick too close to the original (which in the case of games like Punch-Out!! can include gameplay that over the course of a couple decades got more than a little stale) you end up with a cheap rehash, but if you try to innovate too much you end up ruining the nostalgic feel you meant to capture in the first place and that fans will be expecting. What a bitch... Last year's Bionic Commando: Rearmed was a step in the right direction, although outside of some seriously awesome remixed music tracks, it was simply the classic NES game with a new and impressive coat of paint. Punch-Out!! on the Wii first seems like the same formula at work - after all, it has the familiar music and sound effects and the roster of fighters is almost 100% comprised of fighters you may have fought when you were a kid. Facing foes like Glass Joe and King Hippo are certainly no brainers, but when you realize that every fighter is one you've seen in Punch-Out!! lore before, you may start to think that this game is simply a new coat of paint too, but shockingly that's not the case. It's nice that the game has you once again battling all the foes from your past, and aside from ~~one~~ two new fighters (one in particular I certainly had no idea I'd see popping up here, and he is AWESOME), the roster shapes up nicely. I also like how the game manages to touch on the concept of ethnicity but never tread so deep into stereotype territory as to truly be insulting. Yeah, Piston ~~Honda~~ (oops, I mean Hondo - I'll assume lawsuits were involved somewhere along the line) has sushi circle his head when Mac dazes him, but outside of that sort of example and him speaking Japanese, the rest of his personna seems more interested in cultural influence than out-right mockery.

Visually, Punch-Out!!'s biggest strength is that it's cel-shaded look allows the fighters to really express their surprisingly deep personalities and quirks that go far beyond the ways they telegraph their various moves. For example: Glass Joe, the world's worst gaming opponent, is no longer simply just a lifeless punching bag you get to train on - he's also funny as hell to watch, and while he speaks his native French (sadly, Punch-Out!! offers no subtitles for the foriegn languages many of the fighters speak, which is slightly annoying), the animation is so colorful and spot-on that you know he's waaaaay too over-confident - perhaps this unfortunate and comical attitude is the result of a brain tumor that formed from all the people that have leveled him out with a TKO over the years. But this level of expressive body language and physical comedy is present throughout the game, and it's really quite enjoyable to watch. It really brings a level of depth to the game that the old pixels couldn't even quite convey - though they sure did an excellent job... On the audio side, Punch-Out!!'s sound relies a lot on the original NES and borrows and remixes many of the memoriable sounds and cues that old time fans might recognize, the music too is lifted from the classic and reborn through all sorts of new genres, many of which fit the cultural tones of the fighters Little Mac will face.

In terms of gameplay, Punch-Out!! manages to take the control concept of the original and tighten it to today's standards. Punch-Out!! has always been more of a reflex-based puzzle game than an actual fighting game, and this version holds on to that proud tradition by making sure you succeed or fail on your own merits. This is one of those rare games where if you lose, it's because you were at fault - not the game. The game follows a simple structure at first, with Little Mac going through three classes of fighters before winning the championship belt. Amusing as it is, pros may find that to be not much of a challenge, but the trick is that once Mac wins the belt, you open up the Title Defense mode. Here you'll face all your foes again - only now they've been working on their game and they're ready to take you on with a whole bag on new tricks. Glass Joe, forever the loser, shows up in a facemask, taking away the liability of the jaw that earned him his dubious moniker. How you deal with the loss of an enemy's once-reliable weakness is key to holding on to your belt. And aside from some costume changes, these second versions of all your enemies also have new suites of moves and their timing has changed. In short, they become a hell of a lot more of a challenge, which is certainly welcome to die-hard fans. It's not all about getting the belt though, as Punch-Out!! has an exhibition mode that is sort of like it's own version of Achievements. You're presented with all sorts of challenges for each fighter, and successfully meeting those challenges earns you all sorts of rewards from music to play to bios and such. All in all, it's a great way to extend the game's replayability and make sure you get your $50 worth, which is not a problem here...

The game does have some faults, but their so silly and probably limited only to me as to not even be worth noting - but I will. For one, why the hell isn't Mario the ref? Don't get me wrong, Ref from Super Punch-Out!! does a fine job, but it would have added one more little touch of old school class if Mario had been able to once again don the striped shirt. Also, I'm sure it would be a licensing nightmare and maybe a PR one as well, but why not just toss Mike Tyson in the game as a hidden character, you know - just for fun. I'd love to see him rendered in this art style, dumb face tattoo and all. Oh well. On a more realistic note, however, the multiplayer mode feels tacted on big-time. You're limited to playing offline and only Mac VS. Mac, and I find that really lame. Why not allow Soda Popinski to face off against Bald Bull? So much work went into the fighters (which are really the stars here) it seems a shame to waste them in what could have been a more solid 2-player experience. Heck, with this roster you could have even set up a bracket sytem, which would be fun as hell at parties. I suppose that will have to wait for another edition of the game - and if the delay between Super Punch-Out!! and the Wii reboot are any indication, could be quite some time.

Simply put, Punch-Out!! is one of the best titles you're going to find on the shovelware wasteland that is the Wii. It stands comfortably alongside games like Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl and deserves to be part of any Wii owner's library, especially if you still have fond memories of getting your ass handed to you by a pixelated Mike Tyson...

The Dumbing Down

2008-12-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

Challenge Aversive

My Wii has become something of a trophy paper-weight. While others still struggle to find the elusive machines, I was lucky enough to trip over one a year or so ago. The thing is, I barely use it. Outside of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl marathons, the Wii just hasn't done much for me. Casual and Hardcore may be unfortunate labels, barriers keeping a united gaming front seperated, but the there is some truth in the different groups. The Wii, to me, is a hotbed of party game collections and shovelware with only a handful of gems to really get the most out of the console. The success of the Wii is not exactly something you can deny, but the savvy "gamer" can see why. Nintendo's decision to aim squarely at the casual (oh, those labels again) crowd was brilliant - it put them back on top and made the a cultural phenomenon again, but the cost of that success is that many of us, the "hardcore" (oh boy, cursed labels!), feel abandoned. This argument is flawed somewhat, since it was only a year ago that we received great Metroid and Mario titles, and Zelda needs time to bloom again after the awesome Twilight Princess... But there is some truth in what has been spoken. Looking over the Wii library is like staring at rows and rows of gray. Nothing stands out except the few usual suspects. And while games like No More Heroes and the upcoming Madworld break the mold, how often do games like that show up on this platform? The answer is obvious. But even Nintendo is adding to what many see as a problem, with the lackluster WiiMusic (well, lackluster at $50) and, for me, Animal Crossing: City Folk.

I'll admit it, I like me some Animal Crossing. The first game and the DS title came out at the exact right times, allowing me to unwind and relax after long session of FPSs and such. I liked the way the game sort of flowed, how the world seemed alive and had a schedule of sorts. City Folk, however, is something of a kick in the face. To old AC fans, you'll notice right away that this game is familiar - suspiciously so. In fact, this is basically the DS's Wild World with a slight coat of paint. Now, I think part of the charm of the AC games is in the simplicity and the hidden level of challenge - of planning ahead to get the things you want for your home and take part in the events waiting for you. AC did expect a certain level of dedication. Missing any one day might cost you the chance to buy a rare carpet, see KK Slider play, or perhaps miss your last chance to build a proper snowman and get that sweet themed chair. With City Folk, all of that goes out the window. Can't make it on the next day Red visits your town, expensive and shady items in tow? No problem in City Folk - just go to the city and visit his shop. The same goes for every other merchant you know. In the other games, if you missed a holiday or something, you could be evil and adjust the GameCube or DS clocks, but City Folk allows you to change the time from inside the game - allowing people to just go to the dates they need to. To me, this strips away a lot of AC's charm - it's also a sad sign of dumbing down a game that required almost nothing to dumb down. Animal Crossing isn't rocket science, and it's the same thinking that has given many games created lately a fourth difficulty level, one lower than easy. This sort of thinking leads to things like a re-relased Super Mario 3 where you have all the Warp Whistles in your inventory for the very start of the game. Why not!? Maybe toss in a handful of Starmen so that you can get through the pesky airship armada and beat Bowser without the threat of defeat!?

Drawing lines in the sand between Casual and Hardcore is stupid sounding, and it shares space with shameful Fanboys - but the fact remains that games are becoming less and less about challenge and a little committment, and more about seeing the credits roll. While I can appreciate developers wanting me to see their stories or experiences from beginning to end, I like to think that I earn the honor by working a little for it. I'm not saying every game needs to be Ninja Gaiden, but this constant lowering of the bar for things standing in the way of completing a game is ridiculous. I never thought I'd see a game like Animal Crossing treated like this, where it simply doesn't need to be done. Here's looking to the future...

Reviewish | FALLOUT 3

2008-12-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

How Many Rads Are In Chicken McNuggets?

Welcome to Reviewish, where I kinda-sorta "review" games I haven't actually completed yet. See, I play games at my own pace - which is a nice way to say I play them very slowly. But after I play what I deem to be enough of any one game to get the proper feel of what it is and has to offer, I'm ready to put my not-entirely informed stamp on it. Enjoy!

I never played the other two proper Fallout games before. In fact, the first image of the franchise that pops in my head is Brotherhood of Steel, the Xbox game with the horrible box art that looked like absolute garbage. I have also never played Oblivion or anything else created by Bethesda Studios. The Fallout games passed me by because I was never big on the PC as a game platform, and as a younger Bannen I simply never heard of the series - Oblivion is fantasy based with its medieval stylings, and I'm really not keen on that genre. But now I'm hip-deep in Fallout 3, and I think that being clueless about the Fallout legacy and of Bethesa's previous efforts have made Fallout 3 easier on me. I've read a lot of things on the interwebs from die-hard Fallout devotees who either see Fallout 3 as deeply flawed but enjoyable or think it's the worst game ever created - ever. I can't say I don't know where the bitter feelings are coming from. As a Twisted Metal fanatic, things went horribly wrong when SingleTrac left the franchise and 989 Studios took over. Of course, the major difference is that 989 Studios made feces pressed into the shape of a disc, while Bethesda's masterwork is one of the best games I've ever played. It might not be the same creature the fans fell in love with, but just maybe its soul has carried over into something new, something that shows itself to be glorious over time...

I know a few people that have already played through the game a couple times, and I simply can't figure out how they did it. My guess is that they either quit their jobs or work from home, allowing them to spend upwards of 15 hours a day wandering what's left of Washington DC. I envy them. I scrape and claw for a scant few hours a night so I can explore the wastes, and after investing almost 40 hours so far, I feel like I have accomplished practically nothing - and I don't mean that in a bad way, oh no. Fallout 3 is one of the most detailed, rewarding worlds ever constructed, and you can easily spend hours at a time wandering this way and that, constantly bumping into new buildings and locations to explore, items to either aid you or sell for a profit, people to chat with, and enemies to battle (or run from). I've only completed a handful of side quests and just a few of the "main" missions - there's just something rewarding and unique about trying to make it through DC and the surrounding area. Finding a new spot on the map is a rush, and raiding it for its various treasures is even better. I spent two hours last night around Bethesda Ruins, in and out of wrecked buildings and taking on those damn Raiders (who, perhaps not entirely by chance, look like actual Oakland Raiders fans). I remember thinking that GTA's San Andreas was a feat, and while it certainly was at the time, the Capital Wasteland is unlike anything I've ever seen before in a game - a full realized slice of land that seemingly never ends. The most awe-inspiring show of how big this game's world is arrives early in the game once you manage to leave your life-long home in Valut 101. The view from the ridge, seeing the Capital Building so far off in the distance, is one of those "Events" in a game that will stay with me for a long time.

Just as deep and winding as the world is the freedom you have in your choices. Some games act like you have choices. GTA IV created the illusion of you having free choice from time to time - kill this person or let them live and so on - but in Fallout 3, the quests allow for you to tackle it primarily however you want and feel you should, and the best thing is that the world reacts to your decisions. The best example I one that happens early in the game and shouldn't be much of a spoiler to anyone who has followed the game even a little. Blow up or save the tiny settlement of Megaton. It's easy enough to break it down into you being bad or good, but let's say you choose to blow it up. Moira Brown, the shop owner who gives you a certain quest doesn't just up and die. Instead, your action alters her path, and she'll show up in a slightly different form later on. That's just small example, but it makes dealing with people and their quests all the more important. This isn't just black and white - Fallout 3 deals morality in many shades of gray. This makes the game feel a little bit more real and complicated since it'll challenge you trying to be entirely good or truly evil. I began the game trying to walk the straight and narrow from beginning to end - but when the realities of the wasteland kick in, when money, ammo, and food get low, I've had to make a few hard choices in hopes of getting my hands on the goods I needed. Things have been stolen, people have been threatened, lies have been told, lives have been lost. While I have done enough good to still have high karma, I still know what I've done, and how the game world largely pinned me in a corner to do it. It's all about survival, after all.

Because of its design, Fallout 3 has been very hard to talk about with friends. It's impossible to play the game the same way between people, so discussing mission and things found has been very hard. Luckily, there is always talk of how we have handled the growth of our Vault Dweller (or just "101" as Three Dog would say). The character creation system is as flexible as the rest of the game, and all the Stats and Skills and Perks allow you to craft a character that you think best suits you. I have a sneaky brainiac that also does well with Small Guns, but gets slaughtered in close combat scenarios. A friend of mine is a brawling brute loves his minigun and getting hands-on with Super Mutants, but he couldn't hack a computer if it only had one button. The Perks, naturally, are the shining part of character creation - mostly because they run from being helpful and logical to being out-right bizarre. From what I can gather, Mysterious Stranger and Bloody Mess seem to be the peoples' favorites, and while I haven't picked them up yet, I'm hoping to before I reach that cursed Level 20 cap. The problem is that ALL the Perks are awesome and useful, and I'm willing to bet that everyone is like me, spending most of their time Leveling Up staring at that list, debating which Perk to select.

So, Fallout 3 is an epic in every sense of the word. For $60, it's insane how much it gives you. If you haven't already, get it now - make it #1 on your Christmas list if you must. And while the die-hards may not accept Fallout 3 as their own, it has made me want to go out and get the original two games and try them out. If that isn't living up to the promise of a series, I don't know what is...

Fringeworthy

2008-09-10T04:47:00.000-07:00

Science Will Kill Us All

Thanks to last year's Writers Strike, television as I knew it decided to curl up and die, leaving me with an ever-growing list of reality/game shows. Hole In The Wall, for example - if that's not a sign of the End Times, I'm not sure what is. Frankly, I blame the Hadron Collider for this. For one, it's very easy to see that whatever it's going to do once it really gets going, it's going to affect the past, and that's going to result in all this garbage on my TV. Secondly, it's becoming increasingly easier to blame just about anything on the Hadron Collider. For example, it will be magnetic fields from the Collider that causes Google Chrome to become self-aware, leading to our demise at the hands of the machines. See? It's not just easy - it's fun. We need something like the Hadron Collider, and I don't mean for scientific discovery. We need it as something to pin our fears on, to be the focus for a time when America, and likely the world, is feeling the squeeze of terrorism, global economics, and Dane Cook's movie career. Zing. But I do think that's true, that the Collider is a great way to vent frustration and concern - even though it sort of makes some people look like idiots of the Flat Earth variety. I also though it was ironic that on the eve of the Hadron opening up a wormhole, Fox would premiere it's big sci-fi show, Fringe. And it opened with a bang - with an airliner filled with helpless folks who soon become what I like to call "People Soup". Damn. Aside from hoping for a great excuse to break the chains of America's Got Talent, I also follow the works of JJ Abrams closely, because I am an devout LOST fan, and hope for the best here. Abrams' newest baby is about our world reaching that point where science and technology are on a runaway course where progress becomes carnage, though it seems to me that's more about science without ethics. Who knows, though - maybe it's all run by an AI that's gone mad. So far, the show is promising. Storywise, it's got a good hook, and if it can keep the plotlines interesting (like the "Question him" moment at the end of the premiere), we could have a winner. I'm not so sure the early "X-Files Ripoff" statements were entirely fair, since this has less to do with aliens and more to do with rogue science - at least for now. My biggest gripe with Fringe is that the writing seems hit or miss. Sometimes it was rather smart, but sometimes the characters fell into easy clichés and hard-to-believe decisions. Take, for example, the show's lead character, Agent Olivia Dunham. What started for a few moments as a strong female lead was prone to stereotypical female reactions, like when she meets Peter Bishop in Iraq to ask for his help, and resorts to tearing up and giving the "I need to save someone I love" line. My wife, who liked the show up to that moment, let out a cynical laugh and rolled her eyes. I felt the same way. Dunham would later take part in an incredibly questionable experiment with a very crazy Dr. Walter Bishop that involved getting a device shoved in the back of her neck, taking LSD, and being locked in a water tank. All this to save a guy that she seemed somewhat apathetic about at the show's start. And Dr. Bishop walks the fine and dangerous line of becoming a truly obnoxious and unwatchable character. I think his madness largely came from his wily beard, because once he shaved he was much more tolerable - kind of like Samson, but with insanity, not strength...

The success of the show will largely depend on creating episodes that play off what the premiere showed - which walked a fine line between today's horrors of science and far-out sci-fi, like Massive Dynamics' Nina Sharp, who has a very Terminator-esque (and totally bad-ass) robotic arm that goes lightyears beyond what we have available to amputees today. It's sort of like the weirder parts of LOST, but with even a touch more crazy. I'm also already hooked on the whole "Pattern" thing, almost as if it's 2008's answer to the numbers. What is the pattern? What does it all mean? Who the hell would do these horrible things to so many innocent people, and more importantly, why? I want to know more about the whole thing. With any luck, they'll slide in a few sly nods to LOST. Well, a guy can dream, right? In the end, it's largely good stuff, and it's a great excuse to try and put mindless reality programming behind me. If you didn't watch Fringe, I suggest you check in as soon as possible - it looks like this show might start to form quite a mythos, one you're going to need to get into on the ground floor if you want to keep up.

Gaming On My Mind

2008-09-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

As is the rule, my Xbox 360 finally fell victim to the dreaded red rings. It was really only a matter of time, as each and every person I know who has a 360 has suffered the same fate, and I'm lucky I went this long without issue. But now, my entertainment center has a sad empty spot where my favorite hunk of white plastic used to be. It makes me sad. Even my latest spot of fun, Bionic Commando: Rearmed, is subject to the aftermath, as it sits trapped inside a now-useless HDD. Damn! In the meantime, I'm doing a few things to try and keep my mind off the demise of my 360. One thing that helps is Warhawk - lots and lots of Warhawk. Unhealthy amounts of Warhawk. And what really doesn't help is that this all happened at a real Catch 22 moment. I'm glad that the 360 tanked now instead of in a month or two, because I don't think I could deal with missing out on Fallout 3 and Gears of War 2 when they hit. But right now is that time of year where nothing is really out - the result of which is you reading way too much about me and Warhawk. I have been toying with the idea of getting something like Mercenaries 2, which everyone seems to agree is a (wait for it) blast - but then I start to remember that I never bothered to finish Super Mario Galaxy. Poor Mario. So, as I do each and every August/September, I comb through my backlogged games and look for something to play that I might have let slide earlier in the year or one that deserves a second look. Uncharted is just such a game. Not only is the game strong enough to support a second playthrough, and remain fun, but thanks to Sony's new ~~Achievements~~ Trophies, I can at least feel productive. Also, I realized that while I originally hated Uncharted's mutant-filled ending, the game's entire plot was miles better than the one in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull... I'm also seriously thinking about playing Resistance again. I hate FPS controls on the PS3 controller, but the weird timeline and atmosphere of Resistance is worth the hassle. I'm also prepping for R2, which looks like one of the more impressive games of the year if it can keep up with the hype.

Looking ahead though, there's a serious clusterfuck a-brewin'. It's been a long time since a holiday season dropped so many great looking games on our heads, and I'm caught wanting them all and regretting not having some sort of device that extends a day to 38 hours - just so that I can have more time to enjoy them all. October is chock full 'o' games, and it seems the majority of them are being released in the span of a week, near Halloween. Dead Space began as another EA project that I was primed and ready to ignore - especially after Army of Two turned out to be such a let-down. But as time has gone on, Dead Space looks like less and less of the Old EA at work, and makes me think that (just maybe) EA is ready to use its place in the gaming universe to create a flurry of really awesome titles and franchises. I've heard nothing but great things about Dead Space from a multitude of sites, and it looks like it could have what it takes to be seriously creepy and take off as a new series with a somewhat unique feel. But how much time can I spend hacking up creates from The Thing when on the same damn day (give or take), the PS3 sees the arrival of LittleBigPlanet? I didn't care much about LBP at first, but all the talk about what you can do with the game, and how you can fashion your own levels and build set-pieces from scratch pulled me right in. Having spent months and months to fashion an epic quest via RPG Maker, the idea of being able to craft entire experiences appeals to me - especially since I can now share them thanks to the magic of the interwebs. Besides, Sackboy is a horribly cute little guy, and it looks like Sony is really pushing to make LBP and it's star the official mascot of the console. Will it work? Who knows - though it seems like the game's profile and the number of people talking about it has grown a lot in the last few months. Then, a week after those two big games, I have to deal with Fallout 3. Now, I'm not an Oblivion fan, but Fallout 3 is right up my alley, with it's retro-carnage look and dark humor. And a game like this isn't going to just need some attention, it's going to require almost all my free time... That's a tall order. It's just chaos. Too much awesome, not enough time.

Monday's Report | An Open Letter To Tom Cruise

2008-08-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

Because You Complete Me

Honestly, things just haven't been the same since the couch, Tom. You know that. And while you're the very best religious salesman/icon to come around since ~~Jesus~~ Marshall Applewhite, the fact remains that your primary focus is still motion pictures, and that means that all the weirdness you caused with trying WAY to hard to convince us that you have the ability to love someone who is a woman, and treating Matt Lauer like a child did some damage. This is all old news. But the thing now is how do we get that star of yours back in the sky? How can we bring black the glory days when Mission Impossible was relevant and the fact that you basically play yourself in everything you do meant nothing to the audiences of the world? I think I've found the answer, and if you were paying attention, Tom, so did you. Tropic Thunder was good stuff, very funny. But what really helped it along was your turn in some rather amusing make-up doing an awkward hip-hop dance and acting like a total asshole - on purpose. The solution is clear; you need to start doing some comedies. Valkyrie is going to be a big dud, and no matter how hard you try, clips of you trying a German accent will sit side-by-side with those of Nick Cage sweating over the arrival of the bees, until the end of time.

But in Tropic Thunder, you showed that you might actually have something resembling a sense of humor. That's impressive - and I say you run with it. Have you ever even done comedy? I guess you did. Did Losin' It ruin your whole perspective on the genre? And you've done the cameo thing before with amusing results - but you need to step up and take the lead on a comedy. Personally, I think this would be a genius move, letting us see your woefully neglected comedic side. But you must be careful. Avoid anything with Sean William Scott first of all. I'd suggest talking to Judd Apatow - the guy is hot, and you'd likely end up working with Paul Rudd and/or Seth Rogen, which would help bring in the lovable Anchorman audience. Do something crazy, something unexpected, something that is so no...you. Why not somehow find a way to play the loser without being smuggly charming. You tried that in War of the Worlds and failed horribly. We all still loved you and you barely looked like the shlub you were billed as. Mess up that hair, try some make-up, something. Play the drug-dealing friend with the heart of gold, or the drunk guy who accidently crashes his best friend's classic car and must (along with a rag-tag group of pals) must win a demolition derby to win the cash to fix it. Hi-larious, I say. Seriously - if you want to make us all forget about how crazy you really are under what had been a very well-kept veil of "normal", I suggest you get that ~~alien overlord~~ agent of yours on the phone and demand a stack of Hollywood's upcoming blockbuster comedies to look over. Do this, and do it right, and you're back on top, baby...

- Bannen

Intervention | Allison & Me

2008-08-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

It's Like I'm Walking On Sunshine!

Addiction, for the most part, is a serious thing. And, in general, it's not a topic I choose to mock and kick around in my spare time - but there does come a point when I can't help but feel rather unsympathetic. My wife makes it a point to watch the show Intervention on A&E when new episodes roll, and while I watch it with her, it usually ends in me yelling at the TV, brought to the very edge of sanity as these people spill out the same familiar tales of woe and suffering that resulted in their addiction of choice and turning the lives of their family and friends completely upside down. I'm not, and do not discount events like violence, sexual assualt, and other very traumatic situations and how they can effect someone in a very negative way - but there are a lot of times on the show where it seems that it all comes down to the deadly "Not Enough Hugs" syndrome. During the show's entire run, I think I've felt sorry for about three people. The rest, regardless of their tortured past, are such miserable bastards in the present that it's near impossible to understand how people can remain by their side - not to be cold. The medium of television helps to cloud the harsh realities of a family with some hope, but come on. How about Asa? That dude's a Grade A jackass.

But this week showcased the series' worst pile of shit to date - Allison. What really helped ease me into hating her right away was the early comments she made about not caring if she hurt or killed other while out on a "drug run". As it turns out, Allison drives around a lot while she's high, and has already caused accidents and who knows what damages and suffering to others while driving around town, Mr. Toad style. I'm not really sure what's more idiotic, that stupid look on her face or that she managed to get hooked on something as ridiculous as computer duster. Watching her suck on that can of air in every damn scene she was in got old quickly, and wide-eyed grins while she did it again and again and again gave me a deep and fond longing for Intervention's regular drunk mom chugging mouthwash or the junkie shooting up in a fast food restaurant's bathroom. There's something almost comical about Allison's "drug" of choice, that it somehow just doesn't hold the weight of cocaine or alcohol or the various eating issues the show usually highlights. Computer Duster, really? How impressionable are you? Of all the friends you knew in college, you somehow missed the ones hooked on meth and instead hung out with the dude who had nothing better to do but huff duster? Jesus Christ, it's a good thing no one introduced you to the concept of drinking White Out or the intense high you get from jumping off skyscrapers sans parachute. Somehow, while looking like a demented muppet forged from flesh (you half expect her to ask for a cookie as those eyes rattle around her bobbing head), she's coincidently just aware enough to know how to be both melodramatic and make damn sure that she's to be the center of attention at all times. Speaking of which, she's also a cutter - shocking. The scene in the graveyard is priceless in how cliche it is. As she walked into the cemetary, I told my wife "Here's the overly-dramatic scene where she romanticizes death". Sure enough, she spouts off about the peaceful nature of the cemetary and how she wants to be a part of it and die. You know, when I think about putting my loved ones to rest, the last thing I want or imagine is some moron stumbling around, laying on that loved one's grave, sucking on a can of compressed air, and spouting off Anne Rice-esque dialogue that comes off with all the gothic allure of Hot Topic to a TV camera. During the intervention itself, when she plugs her ears like a seven year old? I was shocked that no one was driven so insane that they punched her square in the face. Kudos on the self control, tormented family members. Naturally, her family is a wreck, and they've all but excepted what a pain in the ass their child/sister/friend has degenerated into. That's always the worst part - seeing these poor people (this family seemed genuinely nice) driven to the edge in the wake of Allison's duster-fueled rampage. I suppose it's slightly worse when she can manage to somehow dress like she's an extra from Garden State. A stylish, ecclectic junkie! To cap off how truly loathsome she is, in the end of the episode she seems much more concerned about her damn cats than any person in her life. Nice. I guess as long as she can "hang out" (that's computer-duster-huffer code for "totally being paid to have sex") with some old dude, that's good enough given her kitties are there when she gets home and she's rewarded with a new pair of completely innocent-yet-provocative panties from the not-creepy Sugar Daddy. And why is it girls with Daddy Issues want to be with older men all the time? I'm no psychologist, but isn't that somehow like wanting to have sex with your dad? Weird.

From the looks of things, Allison is coming along in her battle with the air bottle, and at the end of the show she actually seemed somewhat more...I don't know, less smackable? Naturally, she's still in contact with her older ~~john~~ man-friend, which is in no way a trap-door to fall back into her old habits. No way whatsoever. Good to see the learning curve has improved at least - hopefully she'll also limit her trips to CompUSA. Ugh.

And, for the record, I'm sure she's a perfectly good person now - as most of these Intervention folks are once the rehab takes hold and they focus on staying sober and getting things back on track, but the way they often come off on the show either through editing, their own altered behavior, or both is just damned frustrating... Frankly, she deserves a bit of the ol' kicking around - if only for her to see what a total asshole she was while on the...duster.

Monday's Report | Dreamscape

2008-08-11T04:24:00.000-07:00

Pineapple Express Is People!

I rarely remember my dreams, waking up only to know I had dreamt of something, but with pretty much no clue as to what. The worst dreams tend to be the ones that stick. For example, the other night I had the quick flash of a man in a bunny suit standing in my bathroom doorway. It sounds like I'm either full or shit or that it's funny, but neither is true. I did dream it, and it was far from amusing. It was just "real" enough to joly me out of sleep, where I can see from my bed that same doorway. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it. Last night? Last night I had a weird dream where a group of people were trapped in a bizarre building - like a highrise full of metal and glass. None were me, which I thought was odd, and I couldn't place any of them. Fictional people. Then came the hogs. Well, the fictional people called them "hogs". They reminded me of the Pinky demon from DOOM, and they were tearing people apart. Finally, one of the fictional people makes it to the penthouse, and it turns out it's not all shiny and metal and glass - it's really like a large mutant digestive system, and I woke up with the uncomfortable realization that the poor fictional lady was in for an unpleasent stay. Weird, right!? I don't know what to make of it either. I remember when I was a kid, I had this reoccuring dream where there would be a makeshift stage in my backyard, and on the stage was an ice cream cone. However, to get to the ice cream cone, there'd be some sort of trap - an aligator pit, spikes, a dog on a chain, etc. Can't explain that one either, but I still remember them. I think the flavor of the cone changed too, but that might be a detail I've added years after the fact.

It's going to be one of the better weeks for downloadable games. Today we've finally got Strongbad's Cool Game for Attractive People on WiiWare, which I've been waiting for since it was announced. My once-regular visits to homestarrunner.com has faded in the last year or so, but there's something just cool about a game based on that universe that also has the theme of the old point-and-click adventures like King's Quest and is episodic. I have no idea why, but I find the idea of episodic games to be simply incredible. I'm easily impressed by new gimmicks in distribution, okay? That, and this is the best chance for me to actually turn my Wii on for the first time in months. I feel bad that Mario Galaxy can't get me to play it, but I'm easily distracted. Then Wednesday brings Bionic Commando on the 360, which I will also be downloading. It's been a good long time since I played BC, but it looks like this new take on classic does it's best to hold true while also bringing new visuals and stuff to the mix - I can appreciate that. Everyone seems to be talking about Braid, and whether or not it's worth $15, but that's crazy - as long as it's as good as everyone seems to think it is, who cares if it's $15? That's pretty reasonable if you're getting a game that's entertaining and isn't just another piece of XBLA shovelware. Penny Arcade's game ran a high price too, but I felt it was worth the cost and not just entertaining, but funny - an attributes most games just can't pull off correctly. I didn't download Braid, and the truth is I probably won't just because I'm not psyched now, so I won't be later. Nevertheless, the bitching is unfounded... So cut it out.

It's August and it's 2008, that can only mean it's time for the Olympics. Perhaps it makes me a bad American, but I've never been a fan of the Olympics. Since I was a kid, the only thing that the Olympics meant to me was that NBC was going to be screwed up for weeks - and the feeling still stands. Worse yet, it seems every other station has decidedthat instead of some putting together some sweet counter-programming for folks like me, they'd just give up and program relentless garbage so that my only alternative is to watch DVDs or try out my skill at reading tea leaves (by the way, Kevin Francis, do not get on that plane!). The Olympic games confuse me, and while I can entertained by Men's Basketball, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take Table Tennis seriously. Does it take skill? Sure - but that doesn't make it look any less like grown men are playing a rather ridiculous game or making me think of Forrest Gump, something I'm not fond of recalling, but since he was involved in so much our collective history, it's hard not to at least address him and his accomplishments. Of course, all these crazy events get time, and yet Baseball has been removed. Go figure. I have to feel bad for the guys playing beach Volleyball at 2am EST, knowing that no one will be able to appreciate their long, flowing locks and spray tan. It's okay, brah!

Quantum of Solace: I Don't Get It Either

2008-08-07T05:04:00.000-07:00

While it goes without saying that Ghostbusters is my favorite film of all time, I hold a special place in my heart for James Bond. To put it plainly, I'm rather obsessed, perhaps fanatical. There are times when I curse myself for not being British, if only so I can be culturally closer to my favorite fiction spy in our shared notion of Queen and Country, if nothing else. Indeed, I take my Bond seriously. And I'm always more than happy to try and bring the younger generations along for the ride. So far, I've been somewhat successful. I have one cousin who is 16, and he has been converted to a 007 fan. It's awesome to be able to discuss all the ins and outs of the series, our favorite movies, our favorite Bonds, etc. But the real problem is with my other cousin. He's 15, and recently he spoke up about the upcoming Quantum of Solace, saying that he's not exactly a fan of Daniel Craig, and then offering up his own casting choice of who should next wear the Tuxedo. Buckle up, because this will blow your mind...

Jack Nicholson
I wait a minute while you try to let that soak in. It took every fiber in my being to not lunge over the counter and choke him out - if only for his own sake, to free him from what is obviously a very confused life. For all of his celebrity and general goodwill, Jack plays Jack in pretty much every role he's ever been in, and to imagine him in his 2008 near corpse-like form, smirking and snarling, asking for a shaken martini is to imagine the most terrifying scene on Earth. Can you imagine Jack even attempting a British accent? The horror.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Anyways, in other Bond-related news, I'm sure you've heard that Jack White and Alicia Keys have been tapped to record the theme for Quantum of Solace. I'm hoping it's at least a little bit rockin' - I hate the slower themes. But I did stumble across this offering for the theme over at CHUD.com, and thought it was damn funny. I'll admit it - the name of the movie sucks. I know Bond movies have a history of wacky names, but at least they were understandable and wouldn't make the audience go "What the hell does that mean?". Therefore, any riffing on the title is deserved - and is probably required, just so that the movie's name spreads.

For me, I'll see the movie no matter what - and I'm curious that this is the first 007 flick to be a direct sequel, picking up just hours after Casino Royale ends. It also looks like these movies are building up something resembling SPECTRE, some worldwide criminal organization. I'm interested to see where that angle goes. So, enjoy the proposed theme and Bond fans unite!

Monday's Report | Cinema Edition

2008-08-04T03:54:00.001-07:00

As We Speak, Aaron Rogers Is Building A Favre Voodoo Doll...

Why don't more movies feature Yetis? Yeti? I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure of the plural for a gathering of Yetis - I vote that from here on out we call them a Murder, like crows. Sounds pretty bad ass, right? Anyway, the whole reason I even bring up the beloved fuzzy critters is because I saw The Mummy: Curse of the Jet Li this weekend, and the movie doesn't really hit it's stride until three completely awesome yetis show up to kick the crap out of rogue Chinese troops. I know what you're thinking; "Bannen, why did you bother to see the third Mummy movie?" and, while that's none of your business, I'll tell you that I find the Mummy movies to be a guilty pleasure. While they should by shunned and loathed, I actually find them to be entertaining in a Sunday Afternoon Creature Feature sort of way - that and I just can't get enough of Brendan Fraiser's ability to make wacky faces. In reality, this Mummy is more of the same. It's got the over-the-top action sequences, a lot of ham-handed dialogue that serves only to form some loose framework for future plot points to hang awkwardly on, cheap puns and jokey-jokes, but this one has the secret weapon of casting Jet Li as himself. Who knew he was so evil? And let me take a minute here to position something about what does and does not constitute as a "Mummy". Last I checked, being cursed to be a statue (living or otherwise) is not being a mummy - that makes you a statue man, perhaps a golem if you'd like to sound cooler. But a Mummy you are not. And worse yet, you're a fragile statue man, prone to shattering at the slightest provocation. At least the bald baddie from the last two Mummy flicks could not only put up a fight, but remain structurally intact for much of the combat. Through a majority of the movie, especially the ending scene, everyone is screaming stuff like "I hate mummies!" and "die mummies!" and "so what if I had unprotected sex with a mummy!" - and yet, there's really not a single honest-to-gosh mummy to be found. However, Statue Man: Curse of Jet Li probably wouldn't sound as good to an potential theater-goer - nor would it fit comfortably in the inevitable "Mummy" Blu-Ray collection. However, it would sit quite comfortably beside Looney Tunes: Back in Action as part of the "Brendan Fraiser Makes Funny Faces" Blu-Ray collection (which, yes, includes Encino Man). The other weird part of the movie is that Fraiser's son from Mummy Returns is now in his mid to late 20's, and Fraiser still looks to be in his late 30's, maybe early 40's... It's just odd. If you'd like to see this so-called Mummy movie, it helps to at least be able to admit you truly did enjoy the other ones (and face it, you totally did) and just take in some loose entertainment. Cap off the exciting adventure with Applebees and you've got a great afternoon...

Death Race 2000 is one of those really awesome cult movies that deserves to be loved as it is, but since Hollywood has officially given up on developing new content, it was really only a matter of time before they found this classic and decided to retool it for a new generation of kids who can't appreciate the original. I expect to hear about the "Back to the Future" remake with Shia LaBeouf any day now. The precursor for Twisted Metal and other car combat games, Death Race 2000 had a bunch of psychopaths strapped into modified cars, racing for their lives. Of course, the brilliant part was that the race was through civilian territory, and you scored points for mowing down those civilians - kudos if it's a child or elderly folk. In a cult classic way, it's golden. But, naturally, since everyone nowadays has absolutely no balls whatsoever, the new version, called simply "Death Race" sans "2000" (I would have kept the 2000 just for the hell of it. Watch people try to figure that out.), takes place entirely on an enclosed track, keeping children and old folk safely out of harm's way... LAME. I'm going to assume that some terminally unfun studio suit insisted on this, because he feared idiotic high school kids, likely high on meth and/or crack, would attempt a Death Race in their home town, killing untold dozens. In reality, the concept has been rendered limp before it hits the screen - it's only salvation at this pre-release point being Jason Statham, the action hero of under-appreciated (and often awful) action films. I like Jason Statham, and I still think the first Transporter is full of some of the best fight scenes ever - if you fast forward through all the really horrible dialogue between him and the Asian chick. Ugh. Anyway, cast as the mysterious Frankenstein, he might be the movie's saving grace, making it a fun watch. My only concern is that being inside a car will limit his ass-kickery. It's hard to kick people in the face with bike pedals on your feet when you're trapped inside a Mustang. Luckily, my wife loves Jason Statham - I'm sure purely for his acting prowess - so we'll be seeing Death Race when it's released in the next few weeks. I'll compare it to the fantastic original and see how much the re-imagining has killed the concept. I'm betting the answer will be "Killed it a lot".

Anyone else not that psyched about that new Star Wars animated movie coming out? They're advertising the hell out of it, but the general buzz seems minimal at best, at least from inside the 'Drome. I wonder if people have finally grown a little tired of Star Wars? For me, it has taken some time to develop a defense mechanism that makes me believe Episodes 1 thru 3 don't actually exist - except in my nightmares, where the stiff acting and clumsy conversation strike me with unending terror. And while I sure did enjoy the Geddy Tartakovsky animated take on the Clone Wars, this movie is (sadly) Tartakovsky free, and the fact that none of the actors are here to reprise their voices (not even Frank Oz!?) makes me think this is just the latest move in the disturbing Great Lucas Rape - and trust me, Lucas has taken a great deal of joy from awkwardly dry-humping the corpse of Star Wars, and the way Kingdom of the Crystal Skull turned out, Indy's body might get rocked a lot more too. Poor Indy - you realize how much Kingdom failed when Statue Man is, in some ways, a superior adventure romp, especially in the father-and-son interaction department. Awkward.

Ratchet's Return

2008-08-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Pirates and Robots Equal Fun

Without a doubt, the Ratchet & Clank series is one of my absolute favorites, and while the series has had a couple of set-backs (like Size Matters and Deadlocked), it has returned to form with the PS3's Tools of Destruction. It might be true that the R&C formula has largely remained unchanged over the years, but I think in terms of this series, that's not exactly a bad thing. The game has long excelled at creating fantastic platforming action with some seriously awesome shooting. If you don't like Ratchet & Clank, there is a good chance you're somehow wrong. Not sure what you're wrong at, but you're certainly not right in social terms. And the folks at Insomniac are a devoted bunch of gamers - and always busy. Yet, despite all the energy they're pouring into the increasingly must-have Resistance 2, they've been kind enough to craft a small epilogue to the cliffhanger that Tools of Destruction ended on. Introducing, Quest for Booty.

Quest for Booty is a downloadable bit of content from Insomniac that has Ratchet exploring space in search of his missing robot buddy, and dealing with lots and lots of robot pirates. Now, while Tachyon was a perfectly acceptable villain for ToD, he's not enough of a colorful character to stop the game's pirate villain from over-shadowing him. As such, it's nice to see that aspect of the game featured here. And the best part? It's being released on August 21st for $15.00 - that's not bad, not bad at all. Especially when you consider the fact that it has all the production value of Insomniac's previous PS3 efforts. Sure, it's a bite-size bit of gameplay, roughly three to four hours worth, but it's got a lot of platforming and apparently new type of stuff like manipulating light and dark and some new tether attachment for the wrench. As you can imagine, I will be snapping this up as soon as possible on it's release day. I have to say, this and Warhawk have really changed my mind about downloadable games that can be every bit as good as the stuff you buy at the store. Neat!

Activion vs. The Ghostbusters: The Breakdown

2008-07-31T04:11:00.000-07:00

This Fall, They Won't Answer The Call

A line has clearly been drawn in the sand, a message sent. It all started in November, when news broke that a Ghostbusters game was being developed - and it wasn't that bizarre quasi-Gears of War Ghostbusters either. It was the honest to god Ghostbusters we all know and love, penned by Dan Arkroyd and Harold Ramis themselves. It's voiced by the entire crew. Even everyone's favorite dickless wonder, Walter Peck (you know, the brilliant William Atherton?), is back on board. Since the wordon the game came out, I've been on cloud nine, giddily awaiting the arrival of the game that would surely change my life. Finally, I'd be a Ghostbuster... As screenshots and videos made their way to the public, it became clear that this was going to be the real deal - a detailed and accurate take on the franchise that you don't often see in a movie-based game. And once playable demos got in the hands of the gaming press at E3 and Comic Con, all that's been reported on it is excellent word of mouth. Then, the unthinkable.

Activison Blizzard, not happy with being more valuable than EA, decided that they'd also like to own their rival's title for "biggest bunch of douchebags". Out came their press release that stated how they've combed through all the various projects now under their watch and were proud to show their support for such exciting titles as Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon. Mysteriously missing? Ghostbusters. As fans like myself quickly went bezerk with rage and confusion, the word came down - the game wasn't cancelled, but it was no longer being published by Activision. Consider yourself the biggest douchebags, Activision - wear the title with pride. The decision itself makes little sense to me. I think everyone can agree that Ghostbusters, as a game IP - with the original cast in tow and high production values - means a game that will sell like hotcakes. And the market for it is not all just GB fanatics either, I think the IP has enough strength to sell amongst the younger crowd who may be slightly unfamiliar with the classic movie. But now, the whole thing is turned on its ear, and I'm still sort of spinning from the hit. Vivendi was kind enough to send a PR guy out to explain the the game hadn't been given the undesirable fate of "cancelled", but without a publisher now, things just got a lot more confusing and complex for the title. Now Sony (owners of Columbia Pictures, and therefore Ghostbusters) has come out to say that this event is "good" and allows them to position the game along with the movie's 25th anniversary - which happens to be the summer of 2009. FUCK. I know I should be thinking a little more positively - at least it's not cancelled, right? But that's not the point. The point is, I've invested myself heavily in this game - it has meshed both my love of the movie and my tendency for obsession to create a hybrid creature of unspeakable horror. Short of covering myself in bubbles and proclaiming the be the "Destructor", the game has driven me to epic levels of Ghostbusters love. Now I'm a victim of the dreaded "wait".

Here's something that may shock you: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie of all time, ever. It means a lot to me - it's one of the first movies I remember watching, which is odd since I was six and probably should have fond memories of E.T. or some shit... While other kids were playing cops and robbers, me and my troop were busting ghosts in the mean streets of Union Lake, MI - we had the whole routine down. Halloween? Five years in a row of me with a crappy proton pack only a child could craft. So yeah, it's a movie I've grown up with and never stopped loving. And the game was like some sort of miracle gift, a reunion not only with the original cast, but also letting me run alongside them (and split up, so we can do more damage that way...). sigh But now, now I'm getting nasty GTA IV flashbacks, when it's October '07 release was pushed back to April of '08. Crushing, it was. The difference this time is that it hurts even more. Yeah, Ghostbusters probably won't equal something like Gears of War 2, Resistance 2, or the awe-inspiring cuteness of LittleBigPlanet, but the to me Ghostbusters was the Fall release this year - outshining even Fallout 3.

So the deal is this - it's war, Activision. You screwed with my mind, and I'm not pleased. I'm willing to do the unthinkable in order to do my part to give you a middle finger forged from dollar bills. From here on out, I'm never buying another Activion / Blizzard title again. That's right - no more Call of Duties or any of the other shit you've got coming out, which is so tough what with your exciting portfolio featuring Crash Bandishit and Spyro the Fucktard. And Guitar Hero World Tour? Yeah - I'm doing my dealing with EA now, and it's Rock Band 2 on my agenda, bastards. Oh yes, it's war now, and I'm dead serious about it. Ask Joel Schumacher. After he raped Batman, I swore off him and have yet to see one of his movies since. Batnipples require such punishment, and so does this bafflingly stupid choice to drop a game that holds so much promise, throwing the whole thing into chaos. The only positive I can even imagine coming out of this is almost another year of polish that can go into the game - and maybe a character editor for "the Rookie" so that I can make him look like me. BASTARDS! I'm going to go into a corner now, go fetal, and hum the Ghostbusters theme...

Monday's Report | The Beginning

2008-07-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

Here There Be Rants

Sadly, it doesn't seem like the Bannendrome has caught on like it would. I must admit, I'm not much in the way of marketing, so I fear this will only continue. I'm basically the digital form of a homeless guy mumbling to himself. Still, I figure this is a pretty good place to do as I like, though I think I'll always have the ol' soft spot for my original home over at 1up.com. Visit it if you like, invisible friend. I have to say, I have become more and more curious over this whole Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe game that Midway's got coming down the pipe. At first (and, still now) the idea sounds simply ridiuclous. I mean, at least Marvel vs. Capcom was top to bottom crazy - a ton of random characters thrown together for laughs. But now Scorpion is beating the hell out of Superman, which is odd to see. It's like a Superman Returns flashback. And, by the way, that's what ruined the movie (if you don't count the reveal of Super Brat), for the last half of the movie, Superman is getting the crap kicked out of him. While Superman needs some sort of threat in the cinematic realm, the truth of the matter is that no one wants the guy to be a puss. And seeing Scorpion latch that spear into Superman's cheast and yank him into the all-too-familiar uppercut from Hell was depressing. Surely, America is doomed. Just as confounding is Batman's grapple with Sub Zero. Whatever. The point is, early word from the journalist crowd is that the game plays surprisingly well, bringing back the "feel" of MKII, which is great since it's one of the few fighting games I could ever actually play and wi with some regularity. Add to that the new announcement that The Joker is a character and I'm sold. We'll see what happens when November rolls around and 10 different games are pulling at my free time, soul, and wallet though. It could be that no DC hero has the strength required to pull $60 from me. I just hope this whole Fatality for villains rule does actually apply, because how cool would it be to see Scorpion fry Superman? Cool.

Speaking of DC heroes and The Joker, I'm wondering how long until Heath Ledger's performance forever influences future apperances of the character in the comics, cartoons, and so on. I can only imagine the answer is "not long". I read an interview about DC Universe Online and Rob Lee was mentioning how he's already tweaking the Joker's appearance to be more inline with his Dark Knight counterpart. Will the Mortal Kombat version follow suit? And it's not that I mind - Ledger's Joker is an incredible performance. Will he get an Oscar nomination? No. For all the buzz, it's from us - the comic book fans, internet fiends, and the cinematic laymen that the Oscar folks clearly ignore (how else do you explain all the love given to period pieces?). In reality, the people who programmed Oscar's primary directives are far too stuffy and bitter to applaud the works of The Dark Knight. it's funny though. Imagine, for just a moment, TDK if it were just a crime drama without the Batman mythos. Imagine Ledger's same performance, sans facepaint. You just know he'd get the nod then - he makes Anton Chigurh look like he was part of Amateur Hour at the villain club. Ledger's Joker makes you uneasy, makes you squirm. But add that makeup and "The Joker" moniker and the rules change somehow - now he's brushed off as a comic villain, which is a shame considering Ledger left the world this as the proof that the dude could act. Nevertheless, awards or not, the movie is making stupid money, earning in just a week what Ironman and Indiana Jones took three months to make. Who would have thought? And back to Ledger again - would the movie be such a phenomenon if he hadn't died? It's an impossible question, I know. Still, makes me wonder. I've heard people have seen the movie numerous times, anywhere from three or more. I'd like to see it again (therefore bringing my number to two), and may do so tomorrow - but then again, I may rather simply enjoy a day off to do other things. I have a tree that needs some limbs trimmed.

I just finished up MGS1. It was odd playing a PS1 game - I mention the whole adventure over at World 1 dash 1, a site I highly recommend you visit if video games are your thing. So, as my OCD demands, I have now begun playing through MGS2. It's odd, because while I want to get through it, it's more so I can play MGS3 and less about this adventure. I still blame Raiden, and while MGS4 helped smooth things over a bit, and somehow managed to make everyone's favorite transgendered hero look incredibly cool, MGS2 still holds the stigma of being the game that killed the series for me. But I have to play it, I just do. I bought the damn box set, so I might as well play them all, and if I take on MGS3 now that means I'll really never get around to MGS2. It's all about knowing one's self - and I put things off. I'm currently on the Tanker section of the game (also known as "The best part"), and while I dread seeing Raiden, I'll take comfort in having a reunion of sorts with Fortune. Ah Fortune, my favorite Metal Gear Solid person. Don't know why, but she is - so back off.

This concludes my first official Monday's Report. Expect more in the future...

Electronic Arts and the Icky Monsters

2008-07-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

In today's gaming climate, hating on Electronic Arts is sort of like a Borat impression about a year or so ago - everyone was doing it, regardless of ability to do so. It's cool to hate EA. Aside from the relentless spend-monkeys who slave over each years' copy of $60 NFL Roster Update (also known as the Madden series), you're simply not permitted to approve of EA's products. And crappy games aside, the truth of the matter is the company put it upon themselves. There are only so many subpar games they can release based on monopolized sports leagues and movie licenses before the gaming community wakes up and lashes back in its trademark over-reactive manner. Buying beloved developers certainly doesn't help, and that goes double when other purchases in the past have lead to the death and mismemberment of independent developers. In the end, all that was left was decidedly "EA" - and "EA" is code-speak for "Just good enough to get some return on the investment". But in the last couple years, EA has tried very hard to improve the image, to get us all to re-embrace them and not give them the ol' stink eye. The developement of new, original IPs is a great place to start, as is the idea that developing groups are given a broader sense of freedom - able to craft the games they invision and not train-wreck bullshit ala Goldeneye: Rogue Agent, a game that I use as my own personal symbol of everything EA means to me. I think if you give it a shot, Rogue Agent might fit yours as well...

...sigh. See, I try to put things on the good foot and end up still spewing bile. It's not my fault, I've been trained to hate. What my topic here really is is that I think EA might actually be on the up and up on all of this. Sure, as of late, the sports division has had some issues (competition helps iron out stuff like this), but at least some of the newer stuff coming down the pipe looks promising. I did, however, get bitten once by the "new EA" already. Army of Two looked good, and the concept sounded foolproof - but it's actually a very linear and rather boring affair, and it's got a hell of a lot of holes. I mean, they couldn't even get the game's big ending right - adding it as DLC months after the game had been released (and returned to my local GameStop). It looked good, but was a flawed experience. Now though, I'm becoming more and more curious of Dead Space. The game originally looked kind of dull, but now that I see more video and hear some rather positive word of mouth from the recent E3 hands-on demo, I'm getting kind of psyched to experience it. It looks like it could be the perfect blend of sci-fi and horror, which a nice dab of both Event Horizon and The Thing - and who doesn't love The Thing? I like the complete lack of a HUD, relying mostly on holographic displays given off by guns and your inventory. It's a nice touch. And the atmoshpere looks to be spot on, full of spooky space stuff. But even though the game looks so promising, I can't help but wonder how the ball will be dropped - so to speak. Will it be glitchy? Hard to control? To difficult? To short? Too easy? Boring? I should probably stop being such a negative dick, but the good news as that making Dead Space into a hit that people agree is great will go a long way towards proving EA is turning it around. Who knows, they actually might do it...

E3 Presentation Review

2008-07-15T13:48:00.001-07:00

As of about an hour ago, Sony wrapped up their E3'08 presentation, and that means that now each of the big three in the world of games have had their say - so now it's my turn. In a lot of ways, I felt that this year felt understated, full of news we've heard elsewhere, and a whole lot of catering to that darned "casual" base. In terms of big-name titles, again, we've heard it all before this week, and it was kind of sad that none of the companies decided to use this chance to announce something crazy - something preferably "hardcore" that would send people into a frenzy. There is one exception, but I'll get to that in a minute. Let me just go ahead and breakdown how I felt about each company's presentation, and what their various announcements mean to a gamer such as myself, who thinks of himself more along the lines of hardcore, if not at least devoted to the gaming culture...

NINTENDO: Of the three, the biggest disappointment had to be the Big N. While there was plenty to be proud of, with the Wii and the DS both being licensed machines to print money, the company did little to make people think it hadn't forgotten about the fan base that helped to pull them from the wreckage of the GameCube. Of all their various announcements, the only one I'd even have a big of interest in is Animal Crossing: City Folk, which will feature all the things we'd expect from a game that should create a community feel - this goes hand in hand with the new Wii Speak, which finally allows for chat, only in a group environment, making a mic open to a whole room. It's an odd take on the whole chatting concept, though from Nintendo I expect it. And while I'll be sure to play Animal Crossing, I was disappointed that Nintendo didn't mention a single game that hinged on any of the Holy Trinity - Mario, Legend of Zelda, and Metroid. Not only that, but I know a lot of folks (me included) were rather pissed and disappointed that no mention of a Kid Icarus game was made. Also, no new IPs, at least not any that aren't part of the current Nintendo philosophy. I mean, it's nice that Nintendo is doing well again, but it would seem that the way we've seen them go towards the casual market is here to stay, with the occasional scraps thrown to those who expect the glory days of Nintendo. I mean, Animal Crossing is cool and all, but it's not something like a new adventure for Link or the resurrection of a long-forgotten classic. All in all, Nintendo's outlook is oddly familiar, and doesn't look to change anytime soon.
BANNEN'S GRADE: C-

MICROSOFT: Now don't go hatin', fanboys, but of the presentations, Microsoft's was probably the best - but only by default. Microsoft opened E3, and they took that oppertunity and ran with it. Honestly, most of the show wasn't exactly a surprise. We all knew Gears of War II was going to kick ass, and sure enough, the demo of it certainly impressed. Actually, let me take this time to say that I think one of the big things I noticed was that Microsoft showed a lot of in-game demos and videos of their big games, both first party and third. This is a stark change of pace from Sony, which didn't show a whole lot of anything. If nothing else, Microsoft has some serious confidence in their library, and aside from all of the stuff I don't care much about - like the new Avatar thing and the Xbox Live redesign - the games look great, and that means a lot once the Fall rolls around and "Must Haves" start raining down like crazy. The pocket book is gonna hurt this year - and that's between all the consoles, not just the 360. Of course, Microsoft also ruled E3'08 because it had the ace in the hole, the one bombshell announcement. Final Fantasy XIII. Now that is an announcement. Personally, this doesn't mean much to me because I gave up on FF a long time ago, but I know it means a lot to many, many people. This is huge. Now, when it comes to big third party franchises, Sony's pool of exclusives big names is shriking. Along with GTA and Resident Evil, Final Fantasy is now a big game you can get on the 360 the same days it's available on the PS3. That's pretty important, and it stands as the one big surprise of the whole event. Well played, Microsoft.
BANNEN'S GRADE: A-

SONY: Sony's presentation was a confusing one. Of all the systems, I truly believe it has the chance to bring the most cool exclusives come this holiday, and yet the only games it chose to really focus on was Resistance 2 and LittleBigPlanet. I understand highlighting them, but I was stunned that more time wasn't spent on Killzone 2 which, aside from a ver brief glimpse during a montage, didn't make an apperance to speak of at all. I was also kind of pissed to not see more on inFamous, which could be the breakout sort of surprise Crackdown was for the 360. In general, Sony's presentation was just more looks at what we already knew about, and fairly underwhelming in that respect. Home, something I've slowly given up on over the last year and a half, was talked about ("your patience will pay off, I swear!"), and a new video was shown of it open world design, but no word was given on its progress or when we could expect the wider open beta to arrive for the masses - not even so much as "this Fall!" was said about it, and that makes me think this is something that will either come out in 2009 or not at all. It's funny, because Microsoft's new Xbox Live upgrades mimic much of the social networking Sony wants Home to do, and the new Live will be up and running in the Fall. Sony got totally faced on this one. For me, I was waiting for word on God of War III, and hoping it would be Sony's bombshell, maybe releasing this holiday to pull some folks away from their Gears fix who might otherwise not gel to Resistance 2's business. Sadly, all Sony had for Kratos was a very short teaser that showed zero of the game. Again, no date was mentioned. When all is said and done, Sony had the door left wide open for dropping some sort of epic bomb, and simply decided not to. It was a tame affair, and described nothing new. At least the big speech about Sony's profits was enjoyable, highlighted with a funny clip from LittleBigPlanet...
BANNEN'S GRADE: B

STANDOUT GAME: Sure, Gears of War II looks awesome, and my heart pines for Ghostbusters, the game that really stood out (primarily from Microsoft's presentation - another title PS3 breezed past) was Fallout 3. Sure, I already reserved my copy of the game, but that was simply because the pics I had seen looked neat-o. Now that I've seen the game in motion, I can hardly wait to get my hands on it. The "Bloody Mess" perk is this year's "Enrage Plasmid"!

That's it for my take on E3'08 and the big three. Hopefully, more surprises will appear at the next few events. Fingers crossed, maybe at PAX!?

Waiting Is A Payne

2008-07-11T09:27:00.001-07:00

"Payne" Puns Persist!
Before Bullet Time became the late 90's version of the exploding barrel, Max Payne took the concept and ran with it. Looking back on it, I'm kind of sad that the saga of the tormented cop can be so easily forgotten - either on purpose or simply managing to fall through the cracks. It's possibly Rockstar's most underused and underappreciated title. Aside from some of the best shootouts and action set-pieces games would see, and aside from that trademark Bullet Time, Max Payne oozed character and mood - two attributes that are only now really starting to find they're not exclusive to the RPG genre. The dark noir themes and over-stated dialogue helped shape the series into something unique and interesting. And while the first game help set the foundation, I still think that Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne not only improved upon the first, but excelled in delivering a story filled with emotion, twists, and an ending that actually lived up to what you'd hope for. No punches pulled is a nice way to put it. Every now and again, the theme music creeps into my head, and it's then that I wish I'd hear more rumors about a third chapter for Max.

Nevertheless, I was a little concerned to learn a few months ago that Max Payne was going to be the next game license to jump from the consoles to the big screen. It would be easy to see how this could be a disaster - in the wrong hands, and someone who never played the games, a Max Payne movie could turn out as little more than a watered down, generic, vigilante-cop action-fest without a soul. One of those movies you see on TBS in a couple years and wonder if it had ever been released in the theaters, or simply go "Hmm, never heard of this." But then came word that Mark Wahlberg in the role, and my mood changed considerably. I like Wahlberg, and his role in The Condemned sealed it for me - Happening aside. If anyone can bring some sort of life and likeability to a tormented and vengeful man on the edge, it's Mark Wahlberg. Still, things could end up being just a slightly better brainless shootathon. But now, a trailer for the Max Payne movie is making the rounds, and it has not only made me feel better about the whole ordeal, but it makes me just giddy waiting for it to arrive in a theater near me. Check it out:

To me, from the way the movie looks, to how it's being shot, to the brooding guitar rift running through it - it actually feels like Max Payne. From what I can tell, the movie also makes plenty of nods to the original game - snow blowing around, the bleached colors, and the noticable sign for the Ragna Rock nightclub (one of the best scenes in the original game). Sure, there appear to be angels flying around, but don't forget that the first game centers around tailor-made drugs circulating through New York's underworld, causing all sort of chaos - not to mention disturbing hallucinations, which these likely are. I can't wait to see if Max goes into those nightmare scenarios like in the games, where things get real weird, and real twisted. All in all, this looks like it should, and looks like the most faithful version of any game to screen move I've seen. Sure, it's only a trailer, but I have faith.

Pardon Our Dust: Under Construction

2008-07-11T04:39:00.000-07:00

A Drome Of My Own
I've spent a good three years or more blogging my little heart out over at 1UP.com, but over the last few months, things just haven't been running all that smoothly. I've been a decent sport about the various ups and downs involving all the bugs, mistakes, and missteps done to the site's blogger community, but now that they've made blogging even more difficult with some new window thingymado, I've decided enough is simply enough. Therefore, I've packed up some boxes, hired a shady moving company, and am going to follow in the footsteps of my fellow blogger and pal, Matt (go check out his site too - it's good stuff), and spread my wings, opening up a blog site all my own. It's easy to set up blogs here, and I don't have to worry about the damn thing suddenly triple-spacing all of my posts - so that's a good thing. I plan on shifting most of my time over to the Drome here, and I'll primarily focus on topics like TV, movies, video games - you know, all the stuff of great cultural significance. In terms of tone, I try to stay light-hearted, though I'm prone to rage at times, and I love nothing more than sarcasm. But I'll do my best to keep things on the ol' up-and-up.

Hopefully, I'll be visited by my various awesome 1UP friends, and look forward to meeting new ones here. We'll see what happens. Either way, welcome to the Bannendrome...

Steve Guttenberg: Remembering A Legend

2005-04-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

It's True: He's Dead

Looking back, it's easy to see how his star rose to the heights that it did. That glint in his eyes, that impish grin, the way he could step into a scene and make it his own. This was the power of one Steven Irwin Guttenberg VI, the star of such cinematic classics as High Spirits, It Takes Two, and the only mildly funny editions of the Police Academy franchise that mattered. His performances would inspire those around him to try to reach the same level he did. Political leaders would invite him to dinners, religions the world over would anoint him as one of their own (even heathens and blasphemers). As Entertainment Weekly recently commented while discussing the Three Men and a Little Lady 3-Disc Ultimate Collector's Edition: "Guttenberg was easily the Brad Pitt of the 80's and very early 90's - but then the actual Brad Pitt showed up and kicked his ass." But things would take a tragic turn for one of the most respected comic actors in Hollywood history.

The tabloids exploded in 1995 when it was reported that a feud between Guttenberg and Howie Mandel lead to the indefinite halt, and finally, cancellation of Gremlins 3. Guttenberg was devasted by this move, not just emotionally, but also because the decision would sink his newly-opened production company, Guttie-Boy Productions. In the red and drowning in debt, Guttenberg had no choice but to sell the company to Mel Gibson, who turned in into Icon Productions, which would go on to produce such blockbusters as Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ. Guttenberg, lost in his own grief, turned to the only friends he could count on; Ted Danson and Bob Sagat. He was given the chance to live in the couple's guest house until he could get back on his feet, but it would take time - time Guttenberg did not have. The first step was the hardest - doing cameos. He appeared as background and bit characters in the following films:
- Guy Buying Flowers: Bounce
- Guy Hailing Cab: Changing Lanes
- Guy in Dark Part of Club: Daredevil
- Guy Walking Around Aimlessly: Gigli
- Guy You Can't See: Paycheck
- Guy Cut Out Of Movie: Surviving Christmas
Friends strongly suggested that Guttenberg quit taking such tiny roles in only Ben Affleck movies. Facing the sad truth that Ben Affleck movies were not his ticket to reaching the top once more, Guttenberg sank deeper into depression and binge eating. That is, until January 13th, 2005 - the day Guttenberg went missing. The media, busy covering lots of other celebrities and their legal woes, skipped the story entirely. Police reports suggest Guttenberg may have been drinking heavily and wearing Bob Sagat's favorite blue kimono at the time of his disapperance.

This, of course, leads us to remembering the man many in Hollywood once called "The Admiral", Steve Guttenberg. While his life ended unexpectedly in the womens' bathroom of a Las Vegas Fatburger, robbing us of the day he would once again grace us with that trademark smirk and childlike enthusiasm, we can all watch Short Circuit and remember the good old days. We can also laugh at how bad Short Circuit really was - but that was NOT Steve Guttenberg's fault. He made that movie the success it was, which lead to the dismal sequel that only starred the Indian guy from the original and ended with a gold-plated Johnny 5 being sworn in as an American citizen, as if. God speed, Steve. You will be missed...